Why have hope?

April 4, 2010
When all is spoken, what is left but the dregs of disappointment.
Why even have the hope at all?
Hide your thoughts and your pain will stay hidden too.
Reveal and be broken.
What am I but a pen and daydreams?
My hurt is covered up by the laugher in my eyes.
I did my own grave with a smile on my face.
I am nothing more than a vessel to feed other people’s egos.
Egocentricity dominates the world.
I think, yet my thoughts are not vocalized.
It is my thoughts that close my mouth
And keep me awake at night.
I lie on my back, in the darkness, imagining the stars in the sky.
They shine and glow and mock.
Why must something so beautiful be so far away?
They taunt the world with their wonder and awe-striking beauty.
Nothing on Earth can ever compare.
My eyes glisten in the imaginary starlight and I blink.
Each night, the truths come out of the closet.
They find their way into my brain and shove themselves into the front of my mind.
Each night, I lie awake, thinking of everything that I hide,
All of the lies, the truths, the secrets.
Each night, a tear falls down my cheek.
But I quickly suppress the feeling and clear my mind.
Falling into yet another night of restless slumber.
Dreaming of images, both too haunting and mocking to remember fully
Each morning, a new slate begins.
Ready to rewrite each cut and pain and scare that was there the night before.
Why even hope for anything better?

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