perhaps my sleepless nights and insomniac rampages will flame with fire, perhaps they will turn out to be something worthwhile, or unfold to be something great. i've never felt completely insane, but i have felt completely inadequate to the outside world looking in. this cigarette calms my mind and that bottle over there will ease my troubles away, the way the liquid sits, the way it tastes - it's all so addicting. as i swallow my dignity with each sip i take, i feel eased. take my hands like you once did and trace the fingertips, tell me i'm something special, something great. tell me the lies that came out of your rushed tongue. i need those words now more than ever. let me live, let me breathe; find the key to unlocking these chains. maybe if i look into my heart, i can find a back door of some sort.
April 6, 2010