why wont you mend my heart

March 29, 2010
why wont you mend my heart after you broke it in two
why wont you end the never ending silence even though its going through and though
their is a reason why i cant say your the one, the reason is because im scared
i am scared to let anyone in, to let my guard down because i will feel bared
im sorry i cannot say it ,i wont because you just proved that you arent,

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This article has 5 comments. Post your own now!

CarrieAnn13 said...
Dec. 17, 2011 at 8:09 pm

This is a really emotional poem, but I have a bit of criticism.

1.  Your grammar.  'their' instead of 'there', no apostrophes, no punctuation, no proper capitalization...I know this is a free verse poem, but that really annoys me.

2.  I think shorter lines and maybe splitting this up into verses would really help its appearance and rhythm.

Other than that, great work!

jonas_chick899 said...
May 24, 2010 at 8:22 am
awww, well u wrote a greatt poem. its beautiful
SilentSerenity replied...
Sept. 23, 2010 at 9:22 am
Very nice poem, i hope you write more, MyFallenAngel.
Mudder_Hacky replied...
Aug. 19, 2011 at 10:42 am
aw, don't say you got your heart broken. that makes it sound like u think it's your fault.. and my guess is that it's not. Not wanting to say "I love you" prematurely is not at all a bad thing; in fact, it's completely understandable...
Mudder_Hacky replied...
Aug. 19, 2011 at 10:43 am
btw, nice picture choice (: heck, even just nice picture...
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