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What blissful love!

What blissful love! Such desolation Destroyed my perfect adoration. To Want again what cannot be so sorrowfully I cling to thee.

Oh, sweet remembrance of Yesterdays! Relive the moment of a Lovers gaze. Beneath the evening a Star cloaked sky, resist the Longing that fills my eyes.

What apathy you've for the love That use to feel so real. Lack of Emotion no more the rush, these Hands have lost appeal. The callous Words pour from your mouth I'm numb In unbelief. How can this one I've Known and loved be so indifferent to me?

You walk away this is goodbye alas, I know tis so; the passion gone Fades in the night in the morning I'm alone.

What guilt! What shame! I feel Remorse for indulgence in desire, For loving you has burned my soul You took my innocence with your Smile.

I've tasted love and I know tis Sweet and the loving sweeter still, But you walk away with a piece of My I'll again never refill.



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Pitiful_Anonymous said...
Jul. 2, 2010 at 1:39 am

I. Love. This! I love how you used a more refines, shakespearian language. very good. :)

I can really relate to what your saying. and maybe you dont feel this way, but for me i get so aggravated, because it seems they never learn from the mistake made, you know?

anyway, Great job here. I'm a sucker for shakespear, and this remindedly me greatly of him. :)

 
babigerl1194 replied...
Jul. 13, 2010 at 4:09 pm
WOW> this is incredible. i love the language and your intense vocab, how you kept it smooth and all the passion in it. 10/10.     ps plz critiq my work..
 
XCLover said...
May 30, 2010 at 2:13 pm
Consider the word "disbelief" instead of "unbelief". However, I've always thought that twisting words and punctuation are completely up to the author in poetry. I was a bit confused with the random words capitalized, did you do that on purpose?
 
XCLover replied...
May 30, 2010 at 2:14 pm
I thought I was reading Shakespeare for a second...no joke. I love your style!
 
respecturself7 replied...
Jun. 2, 2010 at 12:03 am
NO I DEF DIDNT MEAN TO DO THAT WITH THE CAPITALIZATION, I WAS HAVING A REALLY HARD TIME TRYING TO SUBMIT IT FROM MY COMPUTER. IT WAS THE FIRST POEM I SUBITTED AND I THOUGHT THEY EDIT ALL THE WRITING. WHICH IS GREAT BECAUSE NOW I PROB PUT A BUNCH OF ERRORS IN THE OTHER STUFF I SUBMITTED! LOL
 
respecturself7 replied...
Jun. 2, 2010 at 12:06 am
THANKS FOR THE SUGGESTIONS. WANNA BE MY EDITOR? I'M BROKE SO I COULDN'T PAY YOU BUT.....? SRY THIS IS STUCK ON CAPS!LOL
 
XCLover replied...
Jun. 2, 2010 at 11:28 pm
Are you serious about editing? Cause I would totally edit for you! I copy edit for my school's newspaper and I really like it :D
 
XCLover replied...
Jun. 2, 2010 at 11:29 pm
Oh yep I don't think they edit them. Are you serious about the editing? Cause I totally would! I edit for my school's newspaper and I really like it :D.
 
XCLover replied...
Jun. 2, 2010 at 11:30 pm

My reply isn't showing up for some reason. anyway.

 

Yeah I don't think these are edited unless we do it ourselves. Were you serious about the editing? Cause I totally would! I edit for my school's newspaper and I really like it :).

 
XCLover replied...
Jun. 2, 2010 at 11:31 pm

Now ,of course, all of my replies show up.

 

Sorry I posted the same thing three times! I'll try to be more patient with this computer.

 
respecturself7 replied...
Jun. 3, 2010 at 3:00 am
 Yeah, totally! How would we do that exactly, email?
 
XCLover replied...
Jun. 3, 2010 at 4:12 pm
I have no idea...I'll have to think about this one...
 
respecturself7 said...
Apr. 21, 2010 at 7:00 pm
Um...it's supposed to say "But you walk away with a piece of ME I'll again never refill" not MY! sorry for the mixup
 
tdnarb replied...
May 21, 2010 at 12:15 am
You underestimate yourself.  I thought that this was a very good piece of writing.  I like your style of writing and it made me think.  Good job!
 
respecturself7 replied...
May 21, 2010 at 10:22 am
Thanks so much! That really means a lot to me.:)
 
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