Not an "Us"

March 8, 2010
Is it odd that I think of you almost every day?
Is it wrong to think of your soft pink lips kissing mine in your special little way?
It would be forbidden love. It just wouldn’t do.
Though it could never happen, you still manage to turn my legs to goo.
I love you for the way you make my heart speed up, the way you just act like yourself: not poser, not trendsetter.
But I’m too young, too new, too inexperienced. You’d probably want the older girl, the wiser girl, the girl who knows better.
I imagine your strawberry blonde; how my fingers would feel in your hair.
Who am I kidding? You wouldn’t care!
You make me laugh, make me smile, make me want to do my best. And you make it oh so hard to concentrate on a test!
I strive for recognition from you: a hug, a smile, a wink, a glance.
When it comes to you, I’ll probably never get that chance.
A wave of utter jealousy courses through me when I see you talk to other girls.
I am disgusted by their own winks, blushes, and their long and lovely curls.
I try new shampoo, perfume, and lipstick…not that you compliment it when I try such a trick.
I don’t know why I bother. I don’t know why I try. One can only keep wishing, eyes focused on the sky.
I tell myself just to give it up. I’m the only one who’s acting the fool.
I try to keep my heart rate down and treat you very cool.
But when I see your adorable face and bright shiny baby blues, I feel my resolve quake.
So I renew my efforts, and come up with ways to make you laugh.
Who cares if nothing comes of it? I have nothing else to lose!





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