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Nobody ever really know the truth
With lies I shed a thousand tears
Compromise is the only way
I'll do what I'm told to
And you'll do the same
Then we may find peace in one anothers eyes
Where now saddness lurks searching
For something lighter than this burden
In your heart the answer lyes
Between words said
We feel commosion,happiness,dread
With lies I shed a thousand tears
With truths told so seldom
What could you expect out of me
Who in reality would like nothing more
Than truth and it's benefits
In your heart the answer lyes
In my heart sometimes I hide
From the peacefulness of truth





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Sultana said...
May 15, 2010 at 10:24 pm
Aside from the grammatical errors/spelling errors/stuff that can be very easily changed if you want, i thought this was good. The beginning stuck me as more powerful than the ending, where it got a bit hazy, but overall, it was well done.
 
HeronHero replied...
May 15, 2010 at 11:03 pm
Oi I know this is my most imbarrassing piece!lol I'm happy you like it anyhow....:)
 
Here-to-be-hear said...
May 13, 2010 at 7:02 pm
I liked only the begining and the end the first few lines and the last few lines the others seemed to take away from the effect as they went onward. It was kind of like a submarine coming up for air one minute it was good the other was like "Can I go back under now?" The title is a major throw off as well.
 
HeronHero replied...
May 14, 2010 at 7:09 pm
Well I'm sorry you did'nt relate......it is kind of rough, I'll probably revise it soon!:)
 
Brian_Lambert said...
May 12, 2010 at 10:10 pm

This is very good.. Not written as well as other peices, but still good.

However, The errors in grammar/spelling kind of threw me off, and i almost didn't get the point you were trying to make untill i read it over, after reading Ebony's comment.

This is pretty deep, as is all of your stuff. You seem to be a very intelligent person... It really shows in your writing, even with the errors!  Keep writing, for sure :)

 
HeronHero replied...
May 13, 2010 at 5:30 pm
Thank you for liking it despite my flaws! I actually pulled this out of my journal and it was one of the first things I posted. The spelling mistakes are extremely embarrassing, I'm so sorry! :)
 
Ebony_Rose said...
May 6, 2010 at 8:05 am
I like it, but there are a couple minor errors such as in the first line "know" should be knows and in two other places "lyes" should be lies.... other than that I think it is a wonderful peice... :)
 
HeronHero replied...
May 10, 2010 at 8:00 pm
hahaha yes I should probably fix that!thanks for pointing those things out!:) and I'm glad you like it despite the errors!!!
 
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