Battle Scars

March 7, 2010
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battle scars
the scars of the internal conflict that resignats within me
these scars come from hurt and low self esteem
i try to stay positive but i cannot shake these demons of self criticism
i want to be happy like mary j blige
but i cant
i walk around sad trying to overcome this feeling of nothingness
loneliness swallows me whole as i dream
i cant shake the pain or the humiliation of past choices
i want to be free
GOD let me be free
this battle is taking every last bit of me
the scars are getting worse as i try to take down these barriers and walls i put up
i could have taken them down a long time ago but i was blinded by dumbness
for so long ive always thought that i needed a boy to keep me happy
i know its sad and pathetic but in my situation thats all i figure i can have
or else i could be like my peers and be brain washed with drugs and beer
i dont want to be a tool nor a fool
but if someone doesnt help me now i now these scars will take me down and make me one of them
their problems have consumed them inside and out
i may still have a chance but my inside has already gone
all thats left is my outward expression iand i feel it slipping
my battle scars come from the self inflicted cuts and mental slahes i put on myself
why oh why did i do these things
i cant believe i let these battle scars gain so much over me

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