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A Practical Suicide

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Every day.
I dream of it.
A practical suicide.
Suicide from this life.
Not death.
Just separation.
Eternal separation.
Dreams of no return.
Dreams of a perfect land.
A land where I will not be judged.
A land where I can be free to think.
A land of fairness.
I dream of it.
My practical suicide.
My impossible suicide.
Happiness cannot come without death.
Death.
Should I fear it?
It's what I want.
But everything I hold dear,
I live for it.
This is my world.
My world to conquer.
My world to lead.
Doea my suicide come with a purpose?
What is my motive?
Spite?
Vengance?
Sypmathy?
It's all wrong.
Do I have strength?
Am I strong enough to cause pain?
No.
I'm not.
I'm only strong enough to crave attention.
Which is truly weakness.
I am weak.
But my practical suicide is still strong.
If I am distant,
or detached.
You know where I am.
In my perfect land.
My dream land.
I am slowly committing the most practical suicide.
The one that lies within us all.
I am committing my practical suicide while you commit your own.




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delilahsky This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Apr. 19, 2010 at 2:13 pm:
Wanting attention does not make you weak. It makes you strong. Some people let themselves fall through the cracks and they become forgotten. You have to want life, for yourself and no one else.
 
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