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Victim

Hidden in the darkness
Heart as cold as ice
Waiting for a hero
Everything has its price

Rejected by society
Victim of their hate
Far beyond their mercy
Kindness comes too late




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This article has 32 comments. Post your own!

Supernova7 said...
Oct. 21, 2010 at 10:07 pm:
THANK YOU!!:)
 
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kmarie14 said...
Oct. 18, 2010 at 9:40 pm:
its crazy how beautiful your writing is....you turn words into raw emotions...amazing:) love it!
 
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SamiLynn said...
Sept. 19, 2010 at 11:40 pm:
brief and powerful. i like it!
 
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-Kal- said...
Sept. 17, 2010 at 9:46 pm:
This is very well written and has an excellent rythm. You cut it off at the perfect time too cause much longer and it would've ruined the effect. Great job!
 
Supernova7 replied...
Sept. 17, 2010 at 9:59 pm :
Thank you Kal:)
 
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BrokenPuppet said...
Sept. 4, 2010 at 10:48 am:

This is short but it gets it's point across. It is well written.

The only thing I would suggest is that you pack more emotion into your words. This poem should be giving off pain...but it was only some words that tried to take the shape of pain.

But...I think this is a good poem. A REALLY good poem. It just needs more emotion. :) Good job

 
Supernova7 replied...
Sept. 6, 2010 at 2:50 pm :
Its one of my rough drafts I can't even remember why I wrote it but thank you
 
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Amiee said...
Sept. 4, 2010 at 1:49 am:

I LOVE THIS! this is just the style of writing i love! it doesn't excatly have the subject in the poem but instead makes the person think about it, and it's sooo descriptive!

5 of 5! 오점만점에오점!

 
Amiee replied...
Sept. 4, 2010 at 1:51 am :
oh shoot, i forgot this was an english site and wrote korean, really sorry!
 
Supernova7 replied...
Sept. 4, 2010 at 10:40 am :
Lol its ok one of my best friends lives in Korea thanks for the comments:)
 
Amiee replied...
Sept. 5, 2010 at 4:19 am :
wow, cool!
 
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Zavery_ said...
Aug. 27, 2010 at 10:01 pm:
Amazing. I love your style of expression. Very affective! Thanks for commenting on my work.   =)
 
Supernova7 replied...
Aug. 31, 2010 at 10:34 pm :
Thank you Zavery and no problem you're a good writer:)
 
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Boosflash This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 23, 2010 at 10:36 pm:
i lovwe these 8 lines of awesomenss. and i love the tragic/you came too late /I'm gonna die feeling. do your dance captain.
 
Supernova7 replied...
Aug. 25, 2010 at 9:24 pm :
THANK YOU!!!!!! youre comments are appreciated:)
 
Boosflash This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Aug. 28, 2010 at 9:17 pm :
you're welcome captain. your black holes are much appreciated as well.
 
Supernova7 replied...
Aug. 31, 2010 at 10:35 pm :
:)                           
 
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riley... said...
Aug. 10, 2010 at 1:37 pm:
wow, so deep. the main question running through my head after i read it was, "how old is this author??" because it is so deep and real and true. it seems like so much experience is poured out in two stanzas.
 
Supernova7 replied...
Aug. 13, 2010 at 8:34 am :
Thanx Riley:)
 
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Supernova7 said...
Jul. 17, 2010 at 2:44 pm:
thank you very much everyone:)
 
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