Realizing

By , Londonderry, NH
I sit slumped in a hard green chair the tiled floor my window to another reality
His voice brings me back
He says the words that I don't want but there is no return box
The doctor's lips hold no sympathy
There's no caring in his eyes
Just his sheet metal face waiting for my nod than he walks along
I look down at the frail pale person in front of me
She was suppose to care for me
It's not my turn to nurture I don't know how
She was suppose to teach me
Opening her eyes acting as if she had never done this before
She quickly falls asleep all her energy put into that little bat of the eye
I shove the door hoping it will punch back and end this nightmare
But it stays open daring me to on
I walk into the off white hallway
Reminiscing on the faded flower edging
I smile sadly roses her favorite
Gripping the trash can I chuck it into the wall
Trying to find another escape
This has to be a nightmare
Because my fist don't hurt when they connect to the wall
Because I am bleeding but don't feel it at all
Because I am so numb
Because, because
I fall on the wall wishing she would reach out and hold me
But she can't cause she is dying
And as blood drips with my tears and security pulls me away
Realization hits me and racks my body
Shaking I drop on the cold outside concrete
This isn't a dream, its reality





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