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love sucks
March 15, 2010
You told me you loved me then broke me
while my heart was getting put back you madeit fall
i thought you loved me like you used to but i was wrong
"im sorry but we cant be together" were you lastwords love sucks but we have ti go through it <3
© Josie G., Wilmot, SD
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JOIN THE DISCUSSION
This article has 5 comments.
ForeverFelix PLATINUM said...
on Sep. 13 2010 at 7:51 pm
I agree with boosflash, but it was not bad, however it would be better if you added a little more substance and a little something...different, you know? Keep writing! =)
Just.A.Dream SILVER said...
on Jul. 30 2010 at 7:38 pm
This is so true, especially the last two lines. And I agree with your side comment.
OfficialApprover PLATINUM said...
on Jul. 30 2010 at 7:29 pm
I liked this. I agree you could have stated it a bit better, but it was still a good poem, pretty good flow, I like the message. Good job.
HeatherBee BRONZE said...
on Jul. 30 2010 at 7:28 pm
the ending line's so true...good workk
you said comment on your work so here goes the monkey---this sounds like alot of other stuff i've read on teeink-"you said you loved me but you didnt you broke my heart and now i'm hurt. but we have to go through it".-not very poetic. sob stories-not poetry. you need a creative way to portray your emotions in a poetic form so the reader doesnt go-"just another sob story". my humble honest fluffy opinion.
