Alone

1
I am
Hurtling towards life,
So I try desperately
To gather myself.
I hold my breath trying-
But not really succeeding-
To make a plan of action
For my life
I run one way, turn and reverse.
I have been trying forever it seems.


2
Talking of the future, I don't know what to say,
"It's coming, I'm just not sure."
"I'm pretty sure this one, or maybe that?"
"I'll try harder, I promise."


3
The college decision is like a complex maze
You enter over and over
to conquer.
There's no strength, I can't keep going.
There's no choice, I despair
Of ever finding the right path.
My family wants to help.
They give me advice.
They point me to God.


4
It is Fall. The decision must come by Spring.
Several times, usually often,
My mind is called from it's dreams
To think of the inevitable.

I have talked to my family.
I have seen their support, love
Unfaltering.

I refocus my mind
But want to return to the familiarity
Of my family. They could know the answers.
They've done this before.

5
But, maybe this is what life is,
And is supposed to be;
A journey.

Concentrating,
I take one tiny step forward

To begin, like a morning