Here I plummet,
Like Alice in Wonderland,
But no little trinkets to break my fall.
The ground comes up fast,
Yet I don’t feel the crash.

Two taps on my head brings my eyes upward,
Face to face with an upright tiger,
Wearing a top hat and holding a cane.
Calls himself Tigger, but with little resemblance.
After a while, his nice voice becomes harsh, as he sings angry songs,
About how he really told that joke about your mom.

So I run away, until I’m next to the Sad Lady.
She sits at a bar, wearing her bright clothes,
And clanking jewelry,
Waiting for her long lost love to come home.
It’s too sad for me,
So I run from that too.

I find myself next to the little old man,
Who promises to take me to the moon.
I follow him, but he leaves me there,
Taking my silvery bicycle,
Which I won in that poker hand.

However, I am rescued by the mob boss,
Who promises me a ride home by noon.
Foolish me, I don’t honor our arrangement,
And he vaults me into the river of dry.

Lucky for me, a passing cobra offers me a ride to land.
I sit on his back as he slithers to the island
Of Leybia Gastner, with me in tow.
He speaks to me of the fabled instrument,
The golden oboe, but I claim I’ve never played it,
And they leave me alone.

Of course, that’s when everything goes nuts.
As zombies walk towards me,
And the chainsaws start walking,
And the ground opens up,
As I let out a shout.

And land safely on my bed,
Determined to never eat Creamies before I go to sleep
Again.