Real Surrounding Me

March 16, 2010
By CarolynQ GOLD, Manalapan, New Jersey
CarolynQ GOLD, Manalapan, New Jersey
10 articles 0 photos 220 comments

Feel the air on my body, hot as if someone were breathing on me…
I lay still on the tiles outside, yet I see movement and pickup a vibe…
Feel the world around me close my eyes, touch surface and imagine even bluer skies…
I lay still on the tiles chest moving slow, loose all concern for the troubles that grow…
Feel the energy buzz all around, relax with silence or listen to sound…
I lay still on the tiles where daydream overwhelm, semi-conscious but in my own realm…
Feel the air not me, feel the worlds own integrity…
I lay still on the tiles pretending I am air, because air is free and cannot care…
Feel the thinking the thought, a statement that becomes caught…
I lay still on the tiles biting my nails, fear of feelings think details…
Feel the feelings I didn’t want to touch, you start thinking and thinking it starts to hurt too much…
I lay still on the tiles I am invisible and do not exist, so feel my wrath take my fist…
Feel the hidden emotions the unimportant the forgotten, the truth comes out of the mind that’s rotten…
I lay still on the tiles not making sense, lay still on the tiles no defense…
Feel the confusion, the multiple viewpoints an optical illusion…
I lay still on the tiles distance shades and time, all included in this picture running through my mind…
Feel the music the dance the tunes, the dreams the realities these thoughts that consume…
I lay still on the tiles not listening to what I feel, I am alive but am I real?



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This article has 33 comments.


BillM GOLD said...
on Jun. 20 2011 at 10:34 pm
BillM GOLD, JACKSONVILLE, Florida
12 articles 0 photos 26 comments
This poem was incredible! Very intense and had me on the edge of my seat throughout! So great.

CarolynQ GOLD said...
on Jun. 20 2011 at 9:52 pm
CarolynQ GOLD, Manalapan, New Jersey
10 articles 0 photos 220 comments
Thankyou! Thats such a great thing to hear. <3 Especially from someone so talented.

on Jun. 20 2011 at 11:46 am
Alcanno DIAMOND, Mexia, Texas
59 articles 0 photos 670 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If you love life, don't waste time, for time is what life is
made up of."

-- Bruce Lee

Wowwwww. This blew me away. Your rhyming is perfect, and the last two verses are definitely my favorites. This has great imagery :) and it makes me want to lie still and feel.....

CarolynQ GOLD said...
on Jun. 15 2011 at 12:55 pm
CarolynQ GOLD, Manalapan, New Jersey
10 articles 0 photos 220 comments
thankyou! It's most definitely my style no doubt about that. :)

on Jun. 15 2011 at 12:42 pm
Afanen PLATINUM, Santa Rosa, California
49 articles 0 photos 47 comments

Favorite Quote:
"But you see, Meg, just because we don't understand doesn't mean that the explanation doesn't exist."


- Madeleine L'Engle, A Wrinkle in Time

I love the rhythm to this, and the rhyme scheme is interesting as well. And that last line's killer.

Shadow said...
on Oct. 3 2010 at 10:15 pm

I love it! <3

 

-Yang


on Aug. 24 2010 at 7:35 pm
This is soo amazing. You are sooo amazing. <3

CarolynQ GOLD said...
on Aug. 17 2010 at 11:58 pm
CarolynQ GOLD, Manalapan, New Jersey
10 articles 0 photos 220 comments
thankyouuu (^.^) hehe

CarolynQ GOLD said...
on Aug. 15 2010 at 10:36 pm
CarolynQ GOLD, Manalapan, New Jersey
10 articles 0 photos 220 comments
thankyou so muchh!!!  You are wayyy too sweet <33 :) im gona keep an eye on your artwork your brilliant and i can't wait to see more from youu

Han15 BRONZE said...
on Aug. 10 2010 at 3:12 pm
Han15 BRONZE, Doncaster, Other
1 article 0 photos 34 comments
Probably the best piece you've writen, which means its amazing!

on Aug. 7 2010 at 5:27 am
Camilleishungry, Geelong, Other
0 articles 22 photos 103 comments

goodness it appears that you are amazingly talented at poetry. you wrote some lovely comments to me, now i shall do the same for you.

your poetry is so real. everything you write is really honest and beautiful. The imagery is so perfect that I can picture evrything I read....

You obviously put a lot into your words and it is apparent that you love what you do. keep writing, you have so much talent.


on Jul. 26 2010 at 2:11 pm
Boosflash DIAMOND, Jacksonville, Florida
54 articles 0 photos 2066 comments

Favorite Quote:
Get, Got, Gotten.

oui oui captain.

CarolynQ GOLD said...
on Jul. 18 2010 at 9:12 pm
CarolynQ GOLD, Manalapan, New Jersey
10 articles 0 photos 220 comments
Haha i actually just did a dance :] the comment put a smile on my face. Thankyouuuu!!

on Jul. 18 2010 at 6:53 pm
Boosflash DIAMOND, Jacksonville, Florida
54 articles 0 photos 2066 comments

Favorite Quote:
Get, Got, Gotten.

"imagine even bluer skies", "semi-conscious but in my own realm", "i lay still on the tiles not making sense," "I am alive but am I real." do your dance captain. 5 stars. and I love the repetition. its like you painted this whole picture around laying on a floor. do your dance.

on Jun. 2 2010 at 8:41 am
MustangWriter1813 PLATINUM, Crooks, South Dakota
45 articles 7 photos 128 comments

Favorite Quote:
" No one can told you back besides yourself " MaKayla Claymore class of 2013

Hey Carolyn: check out my new piece I have out on the website. It's called Save me

CarolynQ GOLD said...
on May. 25 2010 at 7:54 pm
CarolynQ GOLD, Manalapan, New Jersey
10 articles 0 photos 220 comments
Thankyou :] i'll check you out know!

on May. 24 2010 at 10:51 am
bkcrider92 GOLD, Roslyn Harbor, New York
10 articles 0 photos 180 comments

Favorite Quote:
“When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace.”

Wow i really love this! It flows so well! If you get a chance can you please check out my poem Memories and comment and rate it? =D

on May. 21 2010 at 7:10 am
MustangWriter1813 PLATINUM, Crooks, South Dakota
45 articles 7 photos 128 comments

Favorite Quote:
" No one can told you back besides yourself " MaKayla Claymore class of 2013

I love the Feeling the feelings I didn't want to touch, you start thinking, and thinking hurts too much. I agree though use better words to describe things. Sometimes you just have to find the right word that flows with it. Keep writing though! Great job and look for some new stories from me!

Wonderful!


on May. 19 2010 at 8:01 am
iknowyourheart BRONZE, Casper, Wyoming
1 article 0 photos 31 comments

Favorite Quote:
"And I'll borrow words from all my favorite paragraphs to write a ballad while we say the things we hope would mean the most to me and each letter sent I've found in the pages of hope for the days when I feel like I've lost everything."-mayday parade

no thank you! :p

 


CarolynQ GOLD said...
on May. 18 2010 at 10:30 pm
CarolynQ GOLD, Manalapan, New Jersey
10 articles 0 photos 220 comments
i appreciate the honesty thankyou




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