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Feel the air on my body, hot as if someone were breathing on me…
I lay still on the tiles outside, yet I see movement and pickup a vibe…
Feel the world around me close my eyes, touch surface and imagine even bluer skies…
I lay still on the tiles chest moving slow, loose all concern for the troubles that grow…
Feel the energy buzz all around, relax with silence or listen to sound…
I lay still on the tiles where daydream overwhelm, semi-conscious but in my own realm…
Feel the air not me, feel the worlds own integrity…
I lay still on the tiles pretending I am air, because air is free and cannot care…
Feel the thinking the thought, a statement that becomes caught…
I lay still on the tiles biting my nails, fear of feelings think details…
Feel the feelings I didn’t want to touch, you start thinking and thinking it starts to hurt too much…
I lay still on the tiles I am invisible and do not exist, so feel my wrath take my fist…
Feel the hidden emotions the unimportant the forgotten, the truth comes out of the mind that’s rotten…
I lay still on the tiles not making sense, lay still on the tiles no defense…
Feel the confusion, the multiple viewpoints an optical illusion…
I lay still on the tiles distance shades and time, all included in this picture running through my mind…
Feel the music the dance the tunes, the dreams the realities these thoughts that consume…
I lay still on the tiles not listening to what I feel, I am alive but am I real?




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This article has 33 comments. Post your own!

GangstaEyes This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jun. 20, 2011 at 11:46 am:
Wowwwww. This blew me away. Your rhyming is perfect, and the last two verses are definitely my favorites. This has great imagery :) and it makes me want to lie still and feel.....
 
CarolynQ replied...
Jun. 20, 2011 at 9:52 pm :
Thankyou! Thats such a great thing to hear. <3 Especially from someone so talented.
 
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AfanenThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jun. 15, 2011 at 12:42 pm:
I love the rhythm to this, and the rhyme scheme is interesting as well. And that last line's killer.
 
CarolynQ replied...
Jun. 15, 2011 at 12:55 pm :
thankyou! It's most definitely my style no doubt about that. :)
 
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Shadow said...
Oct. 3, 2010 at 10:15 pm:

I love it! <3

 

-Yang

 
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seanforeman303 said...
Aug. 24, 2010 at 7:35 pm:
This is soo amazing. You are sooo amazing. <3
 
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Han15 said...
Aug. 10, 2010 at 3:12 pm:
Probably the best piece you've writen, which means its amazing!
 
CarolynQ replied...
Aug. 17, 2010 at 11:58 pm :
thankyouuu (^.^) hehe
 
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Camilleishungry said...
Aug. 7, 2010 at 5:27 am:

goodness it appears that you are amazingly talented at poetry. you wrote some lovely comments to me, now i shall do the same for you.

your poetry is so real. everything you write is really honest and beautiful. The imagery is so perfect that I can picture evrything I read....

You obviously put a lot into your words and it is apparent that you love what you do. keep writing, you have so much talent.

 
CarolynQ replied...
Aug. 15, 2010 at 10:36 pm :
thankyou so muchh!!!  You are wayyy too sweet <33 :) im gona keep an eye on your artwork your brilliant and i can't wait to see more from youu
 
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Boosflash This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jul. 18, 2010 at 6:53 pm:
"imagine even bluer skies", "semi-conscious but in my own realm", "i lay still on the tiles not making sense," "I am alive but am I real." do your dance captain. 5 stars. and I love the repetition. its like you painted this whole picture around laying on a floor. do your dance.
 
CarolynQ replied...
Jul. 18, 2010 at 9:12 pm :
Haha i actually just did a dance :] the comment put a smile on my face. Thankyouuuu!!
 
Boosflash This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jul. 26, 2010 at 2:11 pm :
oui oui captain.
 
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bkcrider92 said...
May 24, 2010 at 10:51 am:
Wow i really love this! It flows so well! If you get a chance can you please check out my poem Memories and comment and rate it? =D
 
CarolynQ replied...
May 25, 2010 at 7:54 pm :
Thankyou :] i'll check you out know!
 
MaKayla1513 replied...
Jun. 2, 2010 at 8:41 am :
Hey Carolyn: check out my new piece I have out on the website. It's called Save me
 
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MaKayla1513 said...
May 21, 2010 at 7:10 am:

I love the Feeling the feelings I didn't want to touch, you start thinking, and thinking hurts too much. I agree though use better words to describe things. Sometimes you just have to find the right word that flows with it. Keep writing though! Great job and look for some new stories from me!

Wonderful!

 
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iknowyourheart said...
May 14, 2010 at 5:36 pm:
I like it, but i think it would benefit you greatly to expand your vocabulary.
 
CarolynQ replied...
May 18, 2010 at 10:30 pm :
i appreciate the honesty thankyou
 
iknowyourheart replied...
May 19, 2010 at 8:01 am :

no thank you! :p

 

 
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