Twisted Fate

March 9, 2010
all it takes is a smile from his twisted lips,
a walk from his clumsy legs,
to make me fall in love again.
he knows nothing,
i know everything.
he sees, needs, breathes his own life without knowledge of it
while i hope, want, cry to be in it every moment
if it takes away my knowledge too,
then so let it be,
and if it takes away my life too,
then so let it be,
for while i walk blindfolded in the cold forest,
shattering winds whispering secrets around me,
earthen creatures crawling through the night,
trees guarding against intruders to enter their world,
i take off the blindfold,
and he's there, he sees me,
but all he can do is watch,
as i am taken by the trees, the earthen creatures, the shattering winds
he looks on, but hears a gentle voice calling to him,
she knows he can hear her now,
and so she speaks her final words,
are they needed? will he care now?
he waits in patience for those words,
but the girl stops calling,
i love you, she whispers to herself as he walks away,
dazed beyond confusion





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This article has 8 comments. Post your own now!

Pitiful_Anonymous said...
Jul. 24, 2010 at 8:37 am
This is pretty good. I like the way you set it up and described everything. It kind of lacks the emotion tat i was hoping for at the start, but it's still a good job! I wouldn't stop if i were you haha
 
writer_girlx14 replied...
Jul. 26, 2010 at 1:28 am
thank you so much for commenting! i have a question, what do you mean by it 'lacks emotion'? please build on that so i can change it next time and become a better writer :) thanks again
 
Teardrops said...
Jul. 10, 2010 at 5:27 pm
Agreed. you have some serious talent. Also i was just looking at your profile we both like sara dessen. please post comments on my poems
 
country_girlx14 replied...
Jul. 11, 2010 at 12:43 am
you like sara dessen??? omg awesome! yeah sure, i was going to anyways since you were nice enough to comment on my poem :)
 
Teardrops replied...
Jul. 11, 2010 at 3:49 pm
Thank you for commenting on my poems! And i also watch house c.s.i and gossip girl. Do you think chucks going to make it on gossip girl? I hope he dose. And sorry to the rest of the people reading this comment
 
country_girlx14 replied...
Jul. 11, 2010 at 11:24 pm
no problem :) really??? i LOVE house. i don't know, it's kinda iffy, we'll just have to watch and find out! lol
 
bettr.that.ya.didnt.kno said...
Jul. 10, 2010 at 8:13 am
oh gosh :O thats deep- the poem and the description thing. i loved ur word choice too :))
 
country_girlx14 replied...
Jul. 11, 2010 at 12:44 am
thanks! :)
 
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