Misery. This state of being in which I am trapped
I feel as if I am the audience,
The witness to a gruesome, hate-filled crime
Watching as the victor tortures his prey,
I see her lying on the cold concrete floor
I see through her eyes,
And yet—
I cannot feel through her body
I no longer feel the tearing of my own body beneath his
As he rips and jerks himself inside me

I no longer feel the fiery stinging of my eyes
As they scrounge for their last tears
Trying to compensate
For the overwhelming, raw, burning sensation,
In place of the long overdue,
Oasis like tears,
I no longer feel

I no longer feel the emotion I ever so long for
At this very moment
Knowing how horribly wrong things have gone
And not feeling it
Knowing how much I need to hate him,
But can’t
For keeping up my shield of numb
Takes every last shred of emotion
I have,
Or could ever hope to feel.
As he abuses me over and over again…
I no longer feel