Back Then

March 4, 2010
By Anonymous

I feel that pain,
every day,
the pain where They forgot,
and left me in the dark.
The pain of everything close
against my skin.
I feel that pain of hatred,
that pain of worthlessness.
Many people don't understand,
what its like to be left alone
for days on end,
when you're too young,
to even hold a pen.
Many people just don't understand,
what its like to be hit,
every day of your life,
because They were drunk,
or high on drugs.
Life started to sit still before my eyes,
I wasn't even in school yet,
and I still knew pain,
that no one ever should.
No one should ever feel like they're nothing,
it's the worst feeling in the world,
or to not be cared,
to be forgotten.
No one should deal with that.
When you're that young,
and already starting to lose faith in life,
that should say something.
But, of course,
when you're that young,
who listens?
I grew up hating myself,
everyone else seemed to.
I began to cut,
I began to bleed,
I found the way I release.
Not only were they hurting me,
but I was hurting myself as well.
The scars shaped my life,
and how I struggled.
They're there because of Them,
because They taught me how to hate myself,
They taught me nothing I did,
would ever be acceptable,
nothing would be happy.
They taught me how to hurt,
how to be worthless.
They taught me how to feel numb,
growing up in a world,
where everyone's supposed to be happy,
is nothing but a fairy tale.
Nothing but a lie.

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