next ticket to Nowhere, please

February 28, 2010
By nicolelevine BRONZE, Fairfield, Connecticut
nicolelevine BRONZE, Fairfield, Connecticut
2 articles 0 photos 5 comments

my mind chases my feet,
tries to catch up as they shoot forward through the airport
in this rambling race to find a word, a thought, a meaning,
but my lack of thoughts send me
plummeting backward

i remain trapped, tangled, tortured
in my own thoughts
my swamped, swarmed brain
doesn’t know how to interpret the
emptiness that fills my head

my legs have finally brought me
close enough
to eye my destination
i long, i hope, i struggle,
in anticipation of my emancipation

the whooshes of departure
pass from one ear through to the other,
the taste of anxiety
like dirt
on the tip of my tongue

i hunt for words
bound to be found
waiting impatiently
like passengers awaiting takeoff
but they refuse to call out:
their tranquility—unbearable

the pilot won’t allow my entrance
my ticket can’t be found;
i’ve lost my way,
the plane is gone
with a fury of writers and words inside

i glare as passing strangers
board the next flight
to Nowhere, and wonder why
i’m stuck
thoughtless, speechless, motionless

i wonder why the door has slammed
in my face
how the others can pass through
and get on with their thoughts

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This article has 11 comments.

on Jul. 20 2010 at 4:04 pm
OfficialApprover PLATINUM, Orefield, Pennsylvania
48 articles 0 photos 1754 comments

Favorite Quote:
Grab life by the balls. -Slobberknocker
We cannot change the cards we're dealt just how we play the hand
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted
It's pretty easy to be smart when you're parroting smart people
-Randy Pausch

I love this, it was so fluid and rhythmic, well-rhymed, and I love the words themselves, very creative.

iDogrocker said...
on Jul. 17 2010 at 5:18 pm
iDogrocker, Lebanon, Oregon
0 articles 0 photos 78 comments
I'm not very good at critiquing poetry, but I really enjoyed your work. I felt that rhythm beneath the words that made your poem move. I could feel the emotion; the confusion and frustration in the lines. What was interesting to me was the way your poem consisted of mostly simple language, but it wasn't boring. It definitely worked for your piece. Also, one of the things that caught me most was your use of capitalization. I love how Nowhere stands out. I get a lot of imagery and deeper meaning from that.

on May. 17 2010 at 6:44 pm
whatshername GOLD, Carlsbad, California
14 articles 1 photo 112 comments
this is really good!

on May. 16 2010 at 12:56 pm
HeatherBee BRONZE, I Live In, Texas
1 article 0 photos 1985 comments

Favorite Quote:
Go on and try to tear me down. I will be rising from the ground, like a skyscraper

Love is louder than the pressure to be perfect

:) i really enjoyed reading this! :DDDDDDDDDD

princesspink said...
on May. 15 2010 at 4:55 pm
princesspink, Kansas, Kansas
0 articles 0 photos 11 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Trying to be poetic never works. That's like trying to be in the mood for potatoes." - Ernest Hemingway

I agree I think this poem would make an excellent prose if you ever feel like reworking it. :)

on May. 15 2010 at 3:32 pm
Just.A.Dream SILVER, Lake Geneva, Wisconsin
7 articles 0 photos 431 comments

Favorite Quote:
Part of the J7X team. :)

You did a good job writing this. Very nice descriptions. :)

Have you tried writing this in story form? You should see how it would sound that way.

on May. 15 2010 at 1:10 pm
SmileyFace94 SILVER, Queens, New York
7 articles 0 photos 35 comments
this is really good! keep up the good work, your an excellent writer

on May. 15 2010 at 8:04 am
nicolelevine BRONZE, Fairfield, Connecticut
2 articles 0 photos 5 comments
that's so nice thank yoU !

on May. 15 2010 at 3:15 am
.Escape.From.This.Afterlife. GOLD, Short Hills, New Jersey
10 articles 0 photos 94 comments

Favorite Quote:
"bad blood is more satisfying to spill across the floor..."

This is simply amazing, you're poetry is so descriptive and captivating and...just all around spectacular.  Never stop writing!

on May. 14 2010 at 7:02 pm
nicolelevine BRONZE, Fairfield, Connecticut
2 articles 0 photos 5 comments
Thank you so much

on May. 14 2010 at 7:34 am
potentialgurl BRONZE, Quincy, Illinois
3 articles 0 photos 18 comments

Favorite Quote:
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." -Eleanor Roosevelt

Omg that was sooo good! You are a really great poet! Keep it up!


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