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Subway Days

Screeech!
Train pulls in
tap tap-my toes knows
there’s no need for patience
Gracious-I step, leap
In for the ride
Strangers by my side
Take a seat
Maybe meet
Tap tap-my feet
Out the window
Sunshine
Passing veiws
Old man reads the
Paper news.
Poor nomads
sing the blues
and beg for change.
Arrange seats
Tap tap-go my feet
Faces
I see
Humbly avoid eyes
Goodbyes: “here’s my stop”
Hop off
The train
The quest
the best
Train may smell bad;
But getting off
Can still make a girl sad.
Glad I had
the chance
the ride
Whoevers by my side
“stand clear of the closing doors”
tap tap…away go my footsteps
still wanting more.



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This article has 5 comments. Post your own!

--ramrams said...
Jul. 23, 2010 at 8:04 pm:

wow . once again , i'm so impressed . i can clearly see through your writing who you are as a writer and a poet . and trust me , revealing your personality through words sounds simple , but it's no easy task . but you did wonderfully ! a suggestion ; for the second last line when you used the elipsis . in this context , you don't exactly need it , especially since you used the hyphen before . i think you should try :

tap tap - and away go my footsteps .

mhmm , but then... (more »)

 
--ramrams replied...
Jul. 23, 2010 at 8:05 pm :
oops . ahah , it repeated for some reason . sorryyy . :P
 
scribblesinthecity replied...
Jul. 25, 2010 at 6:12 pm :
Oh wow! what u wrote was really nice. and thanks for the suggestion, ur probably right. I think i may just use a comma possibly. or i may just be too lazy to change it. lol. but still thank u so much for ur feedback. and i'll definetly check out ur work, just for the heck of it. ;) byebye
 
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Milo! said...
Mar. 11, 2010 at 8:35 pm:
I really love this. I really like how everyone can relate to this. I hope you keep writing, because this is great. You should check out some of my stuff. I think you would like it.
 
scribblesinthecity replied...
Mar. 13, 2010 at 9:01 pm :
thanks a lot! and sure, ill check out ur stuff right now. :)
 
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