My Virtual Reality Incompatibility

February 24, 2010
His hours
only from 10pm to 1am
our only interactions are violent
he’s either beating me or shooting me
Known only as PNUT-----666
he’s my virtual father

He has a split personality
2 sides
one real, one a virtuality

In life
he was the typical, stereotypical:
never there, doesn’t care… Father… Where?
I only knew him for 6 years of my life
abandoned and neglected me
never bothered to respect me
and I hated him… I … Hate him…
Yet when I get home
first thing I do is go check and
sure enough
PNUT----666 is online

and we talk and
combat for hours
battling through soul caliber and I’m venting out all his absences and failures in variations of AYXB
like left trigger left trigger bumper bumper XB
If only there was a cheat to make this fantasy a reality
and ironically
I’m his father in this game cuz he’s playing as Ivy and I’m Cervantes
Blood thirsty pirates and in this case I actually smile when he stabs me in the back

Zombies bring us together
back to back we run
Guns blazing
cutting paths through hordes of rotted flesh
he’s there for me:

running for cover
I crouch behind a car
bring out my med pack trying to heal
but out jumps a zombie camper
its teeth are inches away from my neck when


its head explodes
PNUT----666 protected you

What to when in reality I call
he doesn’t answer
We set appointments but
He never shows
He’s so unreliable yet
EVERY single day at 9 o clock he gets online

He can never pick up the phone
but I can scream at him through headsets
Pummel him through magic fist, bicycle kicks, and fireballs

We bond through madden
Rage on Tekken
He taught me to drive on Grand Turismo
Saved my Life on Left For Dead 2
We even beat a prostitute together on Grand Theft Auto
yet when we accidently saw each other in a GameStop
…. he couldn’t even say hello

It’s amazing that I don’t know how to deal with my Real father
but virtually
All my emotions can be summed up in the incomplete equation of less than 3

And I wish that I could find a commonality
between reality and virtuality

Combining his Live with Online
to get a father I could probably understand…. sometimes?

But obviously
the closest I can get to my paternal family
is on my high definition 67 inch flat screen TV

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