She Is Not Me

February 24, 2010
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The moon hangs in my window
and you whisper in my ear
I can only see your shaddow
but i can feel you near

Your arms wrap around me
and hold my cold body tight
again, it's you i can't see
for the moon gives little light

Your smile nugged against my neck
and as my soft eyes close, they cry
for my tears slowly take breath and choke me
because of our love that had to slowly die

And in a selfish way you ended it so soon
holding onto her, and not me
cause now I'm wishing it was noon
because it's only her you see

Why ask me about her, from the past
why must it be like this again
I really fell and thought it would last
but it wasn't me you wanted in the end





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UnderstandMEClearlyNOW said...
May 18, 2010 at 3:32 pm

Loved the idea! But the last 2 stanzas didn't flow together that well. 

My suggestion:

 

"Take parts from the 4th stanza and turn it into another stanza giving you six stanzas; you can even take things and add it to that newly created 5th stanza" 

 

It was a really good poem! I loved it!

 
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