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what do you see

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what do you see when you look at me?
do you see the morning sunrise or just a girl you simply despise. How can you look at me after the pain you've caused. my heart is shattered and detached, thrown aside like a piece of worthless trash. when you look at me do you see the self esteem that you have cut down. telling me i am not good enough and pushing as i begged you to stop. when you look at me do you see my wounds, the wounds you caused still fresh and burning. when you look at me i bet you cant see anything, i hide it because i have to, any sign of weakness and i am dead to you. i have to be something i am not, who i was before you i completely forgot. Bruised and battered, i hate myself, hate with a passion everlasting because i let you control me. when you look at me i bet you feel ashamed, ashamed of what you created. Lead down a dark path blinded by beauty but i failed to do was look within you. so when i look at you i see, a reflection of a heartless demon who is unrelentless, eating at the souls of the innocent never stopping to realize the pain and destruction you cause. So when you look at me i hope you can finally see i am way stronger than you think.



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thecrystalbudz said...
Aug. 30, 2010 at 12:03 am:
I can relate to this a lot. It makes me want to show my ex that I can accomplish anything and that everything that happened between him and I made me stronger and whatever he does to try to ruin me, I can't be broken down.
 
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MercedesXO said...
Aug. 1, 2010 at 7:50 pm:
i love this!! it reminds me of my life. it was like you literally took my thoughts and put them into words:) thank you so much for this. it is so truthful and..real. it reminds me of my relationship with my mother..sad, but true. anyways, great job!
 
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musiclover71This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jul. 7, 2010 at 5:51 pm:
this is so amazing. you are a great writer
 
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Lonleydandy said...
Jul. 4, 2010 at 9:07 pm:
It's wonderful! I understand the meaning so fully, which makes it all the better for reading :)
 
christin.bass replied...
Jul. 6, 2010 at 5:57 pm :
Thank you so much! i really appreaciate it. (:
 
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the.kanguru This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Apr. 11, 2010 at 5:17 pm:
the message is very clear and the description/rhyme scheme are good, but the complete lack of punctuation except periods was a bit detrimental to the overall quality of the poem, especially when there would normally be question marks (it can be a little bit stilted).
 
christin.bass replied...
Jul. 6, 2010 at 5:58 pm :
Yeah i noticed after i published it. That i missed a few commas, thanks for the constructive critisim though, i'll pay attention more next time.
 
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mysteries58 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Mar. 26, 2010 at 9:54 am:
I love your use of amazing adjectives! The poem is also well developed...a clearer use of punctuation may help the reader, but overall, nice job. :)
 
christin.bass replied...
Jul. 6, 2010 at 5:58 pm :
Thank you soo much (:
 
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Powd3er said...
Mar. 5, 2010 at 11:19 am:
This poem has great flow and insight.
I really enjoyed it.
Lovely poem darling =]
-Please check out the works that I have posted on here it would be highly appreciated and I think you would greatly enjoy them, Thankk youz-
XxIll tell you Im an orphan after you meet myy familyXx
 
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