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February 20, 2010
i saw myself for the first time today
eyes rimmed with ashy redness,
shimmered tears glisten against my cheeks,
hair spilling out of my ponytail.
i saw the girl i knew so well
who i loved-
she was falling apart,
little
by
little.
i saw myself
and i cried harder.
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This article has 2 comments.
thewriteidea DIAMOND said...
on Apr. 16 2010 at 10:35 pm
this is really good. I like your poems a lot. Just one thing I would suggest: 1- you have some grammar errors, for example "who" instead of "whom." Normally it wouldn't really matter, but since it sort of distracted me I thought I should point it out. Other than that it was a fantastic piece. Nice!
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