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Bitter Tunes

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Your double vision is clear and
your breath is heavy
with trying not to tear apart
I am trying not to tear apart.
It is not just a song that
threatens my heartbeat,
but the thousand memories scraping at me
until I bleed inside and I can
taste the iron on my lips from when I licked my self-inflicted wounds
to escape that night.
Your eyes are burning and
your lips are dry
from keeping in desperate chokes
I am trying not to choke on
my tears.
The tears that no longer show but
they are always there
on the tip of my eyelashes and
in a place where my heart cannot find.
It is not just a song that reminds me of you
It is not just a song that reminds me of how much I hurt
There was a time when my mind died and the song was playing like the soundtrack of
my last seconds
I am the reminder of all that haunts me everyday.

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