February 10, 2010
His smile brightens up my day.
His hair is golden like the sun.
I count every step you make.
I always want to be with you.
It hurts when you don't act like you used to.
I tear my heart open to feel something other than pain.
Even though you joke with me it still hurts when you say it.
But I care to much to let you go.
I love you to much to see you get hurt.

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hate_love_theory said...
Apr. 10, 2010 at 5:02 pm
this is..okay not the best but okay. i think you need to be more..out there. use bigger words like insted of brigtens try useing glistens. it will just make it more injoyibul. but i like the subject matter if you have in opinons on my work please share i am not being mean its just advise and i can only lead you to i cant make you use it. but it was good it would just be more ajoyibul of you use my advise. keep writing
adristar96 replied...
Apr. 12, 2010 at 2:20 pm
this is some of my older work so i dont really like it as much as the newer ones. n thanks :) ill look at ur work indeed.
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