You still Insecure- It's over

February 15, 2010
And your insecurity
Your ways of getting around me
And sounding polite,
Yet every word that comes out of your mouth is rude.

You think it was easy,
But I don’t think there is such a thing under this subject.

You think I am done,
But I don’t think I ever will be.
I just know how to hide it,
So that I can live a real life.
And stop hurting everyone around me.

I never used to be so strong,
And you used that against me.
You took advantage of the fact that you ruled my world.
But I have learned how to speak up.
And tell you how you make me feel.

For so long you were my life,
But not anymore.
I am my life now.
And I am the happiest I have ever been.
So stop trying to ruin that again,

You’re hearing things,
That may or may not be true.
But it gives you a reason to make me look like I’m the one that *** up.
But to be truthful,
It wasn’t only me.
It was you too.

We were bad.
Our love was bad.
But now it is over.
So stop bringing it up.
Stop reminding me of the abuse I was unconsciously put through.
Stop reminding me of the uncontrollable love we shared for each other,
Thinking it would never end.
Thinking it would never come to this.

But it has,
And there is no going back.
For I will not allow my wall to crumble again.
It is built and will forever hold its strength.
I never used to believe in myself,
But now I do.

We’ve done it once,
And I have no will to do it again.
It is over,
And I have created myself to be real.

I have moved on.
And I can now say,
That I am happy.
Not all the time,
But I never have always been happy.
But, I am happy enough.
And I am too happy to let go what I have
To revisit the hell I’ve already experienced.

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