Letter to my Past

February 15, 2010
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Dreams that seem like life
Life that seems like dreams

Memories brought by music notes
Different minds inside my head
A different voice from this throat
Of the skins I have shed

Darkness overwhelming me
Drowning with no attempt for breath
Always wanting to ride be free
Creating my own death

Hard bitter shell
All I knew how to be
Trapped inside my hell
No energy to try to see
Any way out

No faith no trust
I killed myself
Every day
Always threatening to combust
In a constant state of decay

Anger overtook every emotion
And there was no room to love you
My pseudo devotion
Disappeared in sight of my magic potion
I drown drown and killed you
This apologies overdue

I love you and I'm sorry

Look in the mirror all I saw was death
Dyed my hair to become anything
Anything but me
Painted on my mask every morning
So you couldn't see

The anger the hatred
The bitterness I'd become
I shred my skin and bled wishing I was dead and fled
From any light because I didn't belong
A zombie and her rum
Anything but darkness felt wrong

Music brings me back
I feel it again in my soul
The dream seeped in black
The endless empty hole
Where I was I won't be
At least from that dream I am free

But I miss you

Sometimes I wonder if I wouldn't have it all again
Endure the pain and the complete lack of being sane

If we could be how we were then

But I have awoken
There's no more opportunity for sleep
The final word's been spoken
All that's left is ashes
That away the wind will sweep

I'm healthier than I've ever been
I wish you were here to feel this warmth
Because you were there when
I needed you
I wish that you could feel this too

But all I can hope
Is that you find what you need
That you find ways to cope
That don't involve smoking weed

Past lives are now dreams
Foggy memories of nebulousness
My soul doesnt scream and I've stitched up my seams
I am overwhelmingly blessed
The world cradled me
And allowed me to be born anew
To be free from at least the depths of my sea
And all I can say is thank you

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kenna2013 said...
Apr. 1, 2010 at 9:11 pm
This was very very raw and i love that! Check out some of my work if you want to
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