understand...understood

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i finally reached a place where i understand that im not meant to be understood
i realize that all the sorrow and trials and temptations were for the betterment of my good
tho it didnt seem that way at that time
when light was dark and up was down and love was lust and didnt smile...jus frowned
at times the load got so heavy i swear (yea i swore) that the spiritual and mental burdens outweighed
the physical
and my body and mind which were once intertwined could not dictate the absurd from the practical
my story is different from most cuz i cant say lesson learned...lesson forced and habits discerned
no longer am i longing for love because i lost it in greenville memorial. saw it rise thru the ceilings with the sound of the flatline and mournful screams.
sounds that would haunt me for years
and months
and days
and hours
and minutes
to this very second when i finally reached that place
a place where i see in omniscient 3rd person
not having to upclose deal with the worse which was really yet to come
when the procession is over and the praying is done
and all that is left is a handprint and purple ribbon
when you see just how lifeless words really are, promises of love and change and life
all suffocate in the dark
mm...but there is one person to thank. one special man
that helped me to reach a place where i understand
that im not meant to be understood





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