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Thunderstruck

THUNDERSTRUCK

The sky opens up suddenly,
Water falls in sheets,
Bucketfuls pour from dark clouds,
Thunder crashes in the distance,
Lightning zigzags above the trees,
But I am calm,
I concentrate on the ping of the rain on the roof,
And that I am safe inside this house in these warm covers,
In this bedroom where thoughts can be freely thought,
About anything and about everything,
Storms make me think more than usual,
Especially when they’re over,
Walking in the damp mud,
Staring up at forest green trees,
Smelling the calming scent of washed away raindrops,
Seeing wriggling worms struggle on the concrete,
I’m thinking about anything and everything,
Remembering,
Back to memories of childhood,
Seeing it rain in the front yard and not in the back,
Thinking it was magic,
But the storm has to start and end somewhere,
And so do the deer, the worms, the skunks, the minks, the foxes, me,
Where do I end?
But I don’t worry about this thought,
I take a hike in the woods,
Watch deer tiptoe over logs,
Frozen when they spot me,
And again let my mind wander,
Out here where anything is possible,
Where every theory and thought is a possibility,
Where I wish I could ask the animals questions,
I want to ask the mole what it’s like to be trapped in the sandy soil all day,
Ask the deer how it feels to see a brother taken away by a human, like me,
Ask the birds if the clouds get in their way,
And I wish I knew the answers to other questions too,
Like why I’m here,
Why I matter amongst all the millions of people here,
Why anyone matters, why anything exists,
The world will die because of us, because of me,
And then everything will end,
Just like an unsent letter,
To a friend or family member,
Hate and anger tangled in words that will never be looked upon again,
Written for no reason at all, except for the sake of having written something,
And this life is only for the sake of having lived,
And I don’t know what will happen when my end comes,
What will be there,
But all I know is that right now, in my present,
There is beauty in nature around me,
And I wish this is how the whole world was:
Covered in beauty.



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This article has 76 comments. Post your own!

Strangecolor This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Nov. 19, 2010 at 10:38 pm:
Less words to mean more, ya know? Don't feel like you have to explain every little think, see if you can find, or create, the perfect word to really zone in on a particular sensation. I like writing haikus as a way to exercise this :) But there's nothing like a good, beautiful, winding thing as well, they certainly have their virtues.
 
Sarbear This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Feb. 14, 2011 at 6:05 pm :
i have to say that i dont agree. describing every tiny detail isn't a bad thing. i want the reader to experience it exactly the way i did. zeroing in on details still leaves room for imagination and everyone experiences a poem their own way.
 
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Strangecolor This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Nov. 16, 2010 at 7:23 am:
"Where do I end" mhmm. I love rain. You have some good very thoughts, DEFINITELY keep writing. I personally go for a more laconic approach, you've got potential to really pop.
 
Sarbear This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Nov. 19, 2010 at 9:13 pm :
mhm...thanks for commenting...any specific criticism to help me "pop?" :)
 
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Minnie said...
Oct. 12, 2010 at 9:25 pm:
That was amazing, Lola. It actually gave me shivers. :D *****
 
Sarbear This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Nov. 15, 2010 at 4:25 pm :
wow thank you! that is such a nice comment...i appreciate it :))
 
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matt's gurl said...
Sept. 8, 2010 at 10:08 am:
This poem is the best i have ever read wow!
 
Sarbear This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Sept. 8, 2010 at 5:17 pm :
thanks!! i appreciate your feedback
 
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BigDCo3 said...
Apr. 14, 2010 at 12:23 pm:
I liked how you described the elements.
 
Sarbear This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Apr. 17, 2010 at 3:11 pm :
thank you for the feedback!
 
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MessOfADreamer said...
Apr. 10, 2010 at 6:12 pm:
I really like this, probably because I really love thunderstorms and you described them well. And I too start thinking a lot whenever they roll around. :D
 
Sarbear This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Apr. 10, 2010 at 7:58 pm :
thank you! thunderstorms definately make you think!! :)
 
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jesusfreak17 said...
Apr. 9, 2010 at 1:01 pm:
This is really good. I use to hate storms but then as I got older I loved them. There is something about just hearing the rain on the windows and knowing something that can be violent can bring so much beauty to the world. It also helps me think.
 
Sarbear This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Apr. 9, 2010 at 4:18 pm :
that's exactly what i was going for--i'm glad you liked it :)
 
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Sarbear This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Apr. 3, 2010 at 12:04 pm:
umm... thank you?? im glad im not circular...
 
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Alisfromthesun said...
Apr. 2, 2010 at 10:31 pm:
i luv yhis its wonderful you should be in the magazine you deserve it you rockstar you YOUR NOT CIRCULAR
 
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Yvaine_96This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Mar. 30, 2010 at 7:23 am:
very beautiful n do u kno what i loved about it? its the way u conveyed your feelings n point of view..............for a poet or writer that is very important
 
Sarbear This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Mar. 30, 2010 at 5:58 pm :
wow, thank you! i appreciate your feedback :-)
 
Kestrel replied...
Apr. 2, 2010 at 12:49 pm :
reallllllyyyyyy good job-love the personal expression you put inot it-I can relate to alot of it-i love storms too-
 
Sarbear This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Apr. 2, 2010 at 8:28 pm :
thank you! i appreciate your comment =)
 
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