re-examing myself

February 15, 2010
By Anonymous

In ways my life is perfect…
But as I look around
I realize even with everything I do,
I see that there is so much more.
More I want to do
More I want to see.
Life’s journey taking me step by step
Like a symphony of sound,
Each note another piece of my life.

I envy at the flawlessness
In which people make their life seem.
Not consciously, of course,
But rather unknowingly.
Carrying themselves day in a day out. As though nothing is amiss.
Even when life is too much to bear.

One more year added to my life,
And yet as much as I know,
I don’t know a lot about one single
Individual thing, person, place or even event,
As corny as it sounds.
I know next to nothing about the professional world of sports,
Yet I participate in them.
Not professional of course, but on a competitive level
Just for fun, and advancement.

My intellect,
Its something I work on all the time.
For me, it’s always been something to work on
Never to slack,
Or slip up on.
Although it happens more often then not.

And as my journey continues
A turning point is coming,
I feel it.
As odd and foreboding as it is,
“A calm before a storm” is the truest way to express this sensation
And I don’t think can continue everything I am currently participate in.

If I could find a way to express
what I truly felt through it all,
In my mind, it would be equal to
some of the greatest pieces in history.

It’s never too late to accomplish goals,
Or so I’ve been told,
My skills in the fine arts department
Are to be somewhat less than desirable.
All around me,
Those who I know
Excel where I lack.
As unfair as I may see it sometimes, it’s the way the world goes round.

I am all to quickly becoming enlightened upon this,
And am now seeing it around me everyday.
Using their talent the peak of their ability
While I have trouble with the simplest of things.
I have become closed minded,
And oblivious to others.
I thought I could do anything and everything
Sadly I must leave that one for my dreams
No one person can do it all.
And as I’m slowly re-opening my mind up to
Anything and everything,
I may not be able to do it all,
But I can do some stuff that makes me happy,
And who I am now.

I can play soccer
Still attempt to sing in the shower
Take chances, and most importantly to me
I still can play an instrument,
Being able to play music,
Is something that truly makes me happy.
Although I do feel pressured to excel in it
Because my mother was an amazing musician
But I always remind myself
I play it for myself.
And that’s 100% true and always will be.
Something that will never change.
A constant, amidst all the change.

The author's comments:
What started all this thinking
And what some might call a wake up call,
Was a party thrown one night.
New years eve,
And starting the year 1 year and 6 days older
Than I previously was into this year
Some friends were over,
But, it’s a night forever ingrained in my memory.
All notions I had went away,
And saw life through a different pair of eyes.
With guitars in hand,
I sat there and listened to what was just a bunch of people having fun.
To me though, the message hit me a bit different.
They had fun.
And as simple and common of a thing as that,
Just hit me like a splash of cold water my face in the morning
It was different,
No one to impress
Just playing and singing,
And trying out different songs, notes, chords.
All for the pleasure of it.
I’ve done it,
But not with out feeling some pressure to improve,
To not mess up, or slip up on a note or rhythm.
Other than writing its one of the ways I can truly express myself.
How ever I want to bring joy to others with what I do,
Most don’t appreciate it.
I would like to do other things.
But having no time to do it,
Even though with everything I do
It seems almost petty of me to want to add that to my list of stuff.
In some ways it feels like I am,
But the intention for pettiness is not there.
Seeing yet another way of how a life can turn out,
Another infinite combination of ‘the right place’
And ‘the right time’
Entranced me.
Truly seeing through a different pair of eyes.
And with that came this.
Completely examining myself and opening myself up,
To where I once had the door halfway open or completely shut.

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This article has 1 comment.

Sarbear GOLD said...
on Feb. 19 2010 at 8:52 pm
Sarbear GOLD, Milan, Ohio
10 articles 4 photos 489 comments

Favorite Quote:
--Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes.
--When life gives you lemons, squirt them in people's eyes.

I really enjoyed reading your poem! It was inspiring. Please check out my poems too!!


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