Getting Up

February 13, 2010
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Heartbreaking defeat
Because I had admitted it
Accepted it, embraced it even
Crashed on the floor
A pitiful heap of dark despair
I didn’t put up a single fight
I was my own demise
For I hadn’t lost anything
I’d merely surrendered
Lost hope
The word flashed through my mind
Along with others just as accusing
Coward, deserter, weakling, loser
Worst of all: traitor
Giving up I had betrayed myself
My wishes, my confidence, my heart
I knew how bad I wanted this
How much I truly desired it
I was meant to dance
“Find inside what you’re meant to be”
My teachers word echoed through my head
Lifting up my chin
My resolved somewhat strengthening
I whispered “don’t bailout”
Sitting up and continuing, but louder
Louder and I was standing
Louder and with more force
The remembered words consumed my fears
They joined with my renewed determination
Together they empowered me
Digging deeper inside
I found I could this
I could do this, I could do this
I will dance

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