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All the same.

I blink my eyes slowly as I turn my head.
The wet grass chills on my legs.
Cooling them from the hot summer sun.
I lean back on the old willow tree.
I glance up, spotting a small fawn eating grass peacefully.
Not even minding me.
I slowly and quitly grabbed my camera, which was hanging around my neck by a strap.
I flash a picture. The fawn glances up, sees me, and returns eating glass.
At that moment I relized that he didnt mind me, even though im a human and he is a small fawn.
We were different in everyway and he didn't mind me one bit.
I guess the lesson I learned that day under the willow tree was that no matter where your from or who you are we are all the same.



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CABhahahahaHPhahahaTLhaha said...
Feb. 18, 2010 at 7:13 pm:
tiny tweaks here and there would help. but over all a very pleasent poem!
 
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Grania This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Feb. 18, 2010 at 4:23 pm:
This poem is nice, but it needs to be edited a little bit. You have a few spelling errors and you switched tenses a few times.
Nice job, though. :D
 
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NineMuses This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Feb. 17, 2010 at 8:36 pm:
I thought this was okay. It is not particularly moving or thought provoking, and you really spelled out everything. (Not to mention some spelling errors:"quitly grabbed my camera") However, your imagery is great, the voice of the narrator is simple and clear, and the topic scene could really be expanded on. I think this definitely needs some editing, refining, proofreading, and maybe some expansion, but it has potential.
 
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Kai_Kai15 said...
Feb. 16, 2010 at 6:22 pm:
BEAUTIFUL!! the moral was fairly easy to understand, and yet it is not easily DONE....absolutely stupendous!!!
 
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JackieSutton This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Feb. 16, 2010 at 6:00 pm:
This poem is really emotional and passionate. You can really feel your thoughts/emotions. good job. :)
 
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bryliz100209 said...
Feb. 16, 2010 at 3:03 pm:
i see the image, and i feel the emotion. great poem.
 
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