Broken and Heart Ache

February 9, 2010
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“Where have you been?”

You haven't seen or heard from her for two weeks. She never bothered to inform you on her whereabouts; instead she let you stay in the dark without a reason why.

“Why does it matter? “

She questions you about your motives because it seems like you didn‘t care if she was here or gone. She had a reason for being gone, but you however didn't have an alibi during those two weeks because you were too busy worrying about getting caught.

“You’re not who you used to be”

Ever since she returned she hasn't been the same girl she used to be.

She looks the same, but her attitude has changed dramatically and that scares you because the old her dealt with your suspicious ways but the new her isn't so flexible.

“Maybe I’m finally my true self”
Simple was her answer but who she is now, is complex.

“Who are you then?”

You asked hoping that she would say the girl that is madly in love with her boyfriend. You need relief because if she gives more than a simple reason it will only cause you stress and you don't handle stress well.

“I’m just a girl that realized everything in her life was a lie”
She could mean anything and she could have realized that you were just another lie that laid upon her dirty laundry.

“Who are you now?”

You asked looking for a little more that could help you with apologizing to her.


Those were the words you hated to hear; she shouldn't be broken. She can't be broken it's not who she is well maybe she is right, maybe she is her true self and her true self is broken. If she is really broken then what are you to her?

“What am I?”

You asked nervously because you don't want to hear her answer but you have to hear it. Your heart won't let you shut out yourself because your heart knows that you're a reason for her breaking.

“Heart ache”

The boy walks away from the girl with a dagger poking through his heart. He too is now broken.

The girl watched him walk away with his head hanging low. She knew her words caused him pain, but she simply was speaking from her heart.

The boy wanted to know why he caused his girl so much pain. What he had done to make her broken.

He walked the beaten old road that led to the river bin. No surprise his girl was sitting down by the shore.

With goals set before him, he approaches her from behind.

“I trusted you. I gave you my heart to hold but it must have slipped through your thin fingers and broken upon the fall of hitting the concrete ground” she says still focusing on the river as the waves ripple.

She doesn’t face you instead she keeps her eyes on the river as her tears join the fresh water.
“I only loved you” are the only words that you can say.

You hope she would agree and not argue because you can’t loose her not like this. You never wanted her to be broken and you never wanted to be the one responsible for her grand fall.

“But I wasn’t the only one you loved. For you had many girls when I was away to love” she takes a step on the lips of the river.

“You were different from the rest. I love you differently than anyone else in my life” you said trying to lure her back to you because it worked every time before.

"Love is a general term; what kind of love do you have for me?" she asks as she takes another step into the water.

"I love you with all my heart. What kind of love is that?" you ask unsure of the right answer she is looking for.

"Pity, your love for me is pity love. You only love me because you feel bad for me and the reason you feel so terrible is because you know that you were unfaithful. Yet the guilt never stopped you from telling me the truth instead you let me stay in the dark. How did it feel being in the dark? Horrible, I know" she looks you straight in the eyes as tears stroll down her face and land in the river.

You never intended to hurt her, but you did and now she will never be fixed. You can only stitch a broken heart back together, but her heart is only being held by tape which can't hold the seams as they continue to rip.

"What can I do to fix my mistake?" you ask her because you have to fix her before she shatters.

"Watch me drown" she steps into the mouth of the river.

As she falls backwards into the mouth of the river, you watch her from the shore. Water covers her face and you want to save her, but you can't because you have to fix her broken heart and this is the only way how.
You sprint into the rapids and pull her from the cold water, but you're too late to save her life.
Tears stream down your face and join the fresh water of the river. For the first time, both her and your tears mend together as one.

She was broken and you're heart ache. You watched the graciously cold queen drown before your own eyes.

You caused the queen to loose her kingdom and you're the first to ever beat her, but was it worth it?

Nothing can make this pain go away and you finally realize what her intention was.

She intended for you to act this way because she knew that you would join her if you had seen her die knowing you couldn't save her like all the times before.

She was right because you joined her to the after-life.

She was broken and you were her heart ache.

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