You Don't Even Know

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My mind remains stagnant
In this swirling mist of gray
Trying to make sense of it all
While so many colors pass me by
Colors of life
Friends and rivals,
Smiles and frowns,
Naive love and tainted hatred,
Life is passing me by
Everything is leaving me behind
Even you

I miss you right now
You don’t even know
Of all things, why
Couldn’t I hold on to you?
Would that have been the right choice?

You took away my pain
But not without causing it
You gave me my smile
But not without dropping it
You stole my heart
But not without breaking it

Why, oh why,
Of all things I can miss,
Of all I can want,
Does it have to be you?

My mind cannot escape
Remembering how things once were
My mind cannot help
But wonder how they could have been

Had we not fallen apart
Had I grasped a little harder
To keep you by my side
Even though our connection
Had dissolved to dust?

Even now, I’m still grasping at dust
Hoping to discover something new
Who knows?
Maybe something beautiful will bloom
Something new
From the ashes of our past
A phoenix, perhaps
Is it coming?
Because I’m still waiting
So spread those damn wings of yours
Take flight already
And take me with you

I miss you right now
You don’t even know
Of all things, why
Couldn’t I hold on to you?
Would that have been the wrong choice?

You took away my pain
But not without causing it
You gave me my smile
But not without dropping it
You stole my heart
But not without breaking it

You don’t even know
How hard I wish
For this to be real
For everything to be real
I miss it so much it hurts to think about
I miss you so much
That you don’t even know
That much you will never know





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