When I was happy I would smile so big and laugh nonstop

My family would think I was on crack

But it didn't matter cause I had you

And I was happy

You said you loved me from the very start

My eyes weren't opened wide enough to see

I would deny I was in love and just say she's my bestfriend

The reason for this was cause I never wanted you to hurt or for you be hurt from me

I wanted never to lose you and all relationships end up in a loss of each other

I wanted our bond to last for eternity

So I pushed the truth away

We talked so much everyday and the constant repeating of your name would make me smile more and more

You told me you loved me, I said it back

I meant it, you were my bestfriend

My partner in crime, my cheeseball, my indian princess, my everything

But I ruined it

I hurt you, lied to you in the beginning and said a bunch of meaningless s*** to cover up the truth

I kissed her and never told you

I hurt the one person that could every make me happy

The best thing I could think of doing is letting you go

Let someone else be with you

Someone that deserves your love

Not me

I killed your trust, heart, and fill your eyes with tears

I was the murderer and killed us

Not you

I chose to do what I did

Saying sorry will never be enough

Its my fault and now I'm paying for it

I'm miserable

I cry and in so much grief

I hate myself for ever hurting you

But your free of me now

So be happy and try to smile

Be yourself

And never bring yourself down with a single thought of me

As for me

I will become a lonely man

I'll lie on a porch

Rocking away in a rocking chair with dogs surrounding me

Never happy and tears everyday stinging my eyes

Eventually reach my deathbed