Wasn't worth it

By , La Plata, MD
Within my mind I’m breaking
Down playing
My pain
So I’m faking
Now I’m taking
My life
I’m paying
Hands and gun shaking
Cuz’ the tables are changing

But I’m ready
Gotta hold it steady
Can’t miss the mark
Even in the dark
The time’s come already

It’s gotta be now
No, when, where or how
So go take the shot
Put in all the pain you got

You’re already in the noose
So let it loose
Its two poisons to choose
No matter what you lose

Your resolve
Is falling down
Pull it together
It’s the last round
In this game of wits
It’s all about who has the harder hit

So let it go
Let them all know
That you told him so

But don’t tell them why
Don’t need a reason to die
No one will think you lied
When the bullets fly…

Glancing at the chalk outline
In the back of their mind
I’m sure they’ll find
That it could have been prevented
If they had caught the signs:

Of the depraved
The crazed
Path for revenge
You’d be amazed
At the steps someone takes
To make one pay

He should’ve known better
When you were 10 and he was 35
And you looked at him
A glint in your eye
And promised him quietly
That he’d pay with his life

Now he knows better
That the pleasure
That day
Couldn’t measure
The pain
Designed for him
To remember

When you take
You’re taken from
And he didn’t know
The day would come

He didn’t figure
One day
I’d be bigger

Ready to start from the bottom
And work to the top
Cuz he didn’t realize
No means
Stop

I’m now the greater
Of two evils
Because you didn’t see
That your façade
Was laid
To clear
That the lies you spun
Would grow larger
With fear

It might not have happened
If you hadn’t tried
To lie
You started to deny
That it was the imagination
Of a child
Yet past lust
Was still in your eyes

Now I won’t quit
Till you get
What you deserve
For the perverse
Sick pleasure
You took
That shook me to the core
Then leaving just as quick
As tide sinking
From the shore

No it won’t end
Until
The pain from your sins
Is washed away
And I can honestly say
That my revenge has
Made you pay
For my naiveté
That’s slipped ‘way

It’s not done
Till you pay
For the fun
Conceived
From my innocence
Not over till
I see sense
Behind the angry red
Of memories
Of woman’s blood
Trickling slowly
Flowing
going
Slipping
Dripping down the drain





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