Open up

January 30, 2010
I think of all the things I've done,
The fights I've lost, the wars I've won,
I sit and think, here in the dark,
Alone and cold, lost in the park,
I think about the time we had,
The life we knew, when we weren't sad,
The smiles, and laughter, on that note I choke,
Brings tears to my eyes, and a lump to my throat,
Lost in thought, I sit and cry,
Wondering how, but more often why,
How could you do it, what did I say,
What did I do to make you treat me this way,
The night air is cold, it keeps me awake,
Keeps my mind whirling, trapped in this state,
Round and around my head stupid thoughts fly,
I want to cut, but I don't want to die.
Here's the release, here's what you crave,
Here's the escape, no need for the grave,
Just reach out and take it, take what you need,
Pick the damn thing up, and make yourself bleed.
There goes my head, off on its own,
Lost in a frenzy I hereby disown,
This used to be me, sat here on this bench,
It used to be me, here in this stench,
The sun rose once, and I didn't see,
Lost in my thoughts, and my self-pity,
I lost the light, I lost my way,
I forgot to remember, all the things I used to say,
With light all around, I sat in the dark,
Convinced of the gloom, trapped in my heart,
The world carried on around me, and I hated it for that,
The blurs are people, no time for a chat,

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