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A Dark Cave

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I don't like the idea of the future, 
So dark, so unknown. 
I feel like I'm blind, 
Walking into a dark cave. 
Why do I feel this way? 
I don't want to grow up. 
I don't want responsibility. 
I don't want to change. 
I'm hurt, 
I'm getting over the past, 
How can I move to the future? 
I want to grow up, 
But I'm scared it'll all go wrong. 
I want responsibility, 
But I don't know if I can handle it. 
I want to change, 
But that always leads to hurt. 
I want to spread my wings, 
But nobody ever let me. 
I don't want to move forward. 
Most of all, though, 
I don't want to reach the end of my dark cave. 



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kressbe said...
Feb. 19, 2010 at 3:16 pm:
What a metaphor for life! A dark cave! It's depressing and all, but it really works in this poem. My only suggestion: extend the cave metaphor with some cave-ish imagery. You have a lot of potential for that. For example, create a sense of claustrophobia in the wing-spreading line (cause there is no room or something)
anyways great job! Please look at some of my stuff if you can!
 
WriteForLove replied...
Feb. 19, 2010 at 6:02 pm :
Thank you so much for the advice. I didn't even think of that! And thanks for commenting!
And yes, of course I'll read some of yours! Thank you!!
 
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DallysGrrl said...
Feb. 13, 2010 at 6:32 pm:
Wow this is really awesome!! i really think this is 1 of ur best!! Awesome job.
 
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