i remember when

January 27, 2010
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the grating edge of your seat
pushed agaisnt your shirt
already worn motheaten

and stained
the comlexion of dirt. why
is it beautiful
the way i
knead my hand against
my leg,

groping for pain relief take an asprin or two.
why do i love your book
with it's slim, jutting pages
riiipped and tattered
FILLED with the blues?
needing validity for its wreakage in you,



stand to shake the trellis
of my heart and
tear it open like
the pages of your book. my
knotted muscles link to your pain
like a phantom arm,
and slowly sloooowly-
i fall asleep....

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apocalyptigirl said...
Oct. 1, 2010 at 11:56 pm
WOW. I was blown away by this. It's so different from everything else I've seen on here---in a really, really good way. But I feel obligated to correct your grammar; I'm OCD like that haha. "It's" = "it is." "Its" = the possessive of it, which is what you were going for instead of "it is." Also, "wreakage" should be spelled "wreckage" (without the first a). Again, I am totally amazed by this. It kind of reminds me of ee cummings, except that I don't really like ee cummings and I liked this a lot...
Heatherr-feather This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Oct. 2, 2010 at 4:46 pm
hahah Thanks!! i totally know that whole things about it is is it's and its is when your not saying that too lol this is supeeerr old, and i've definitely grown from where i was then to where i am now. thanks for the spelling correction too, i've always wanted to know how to spell wreckage! :) I'll make sure to check out your work as well, thanks for all the constructive critisism.
apocalyptigirl replied...
Oct. 2, 2010 at 11:27 pm
Thanks for checking out my work!! I didn't have to ask or anything, lol! I have only one story...I just ask that if you read and rate it you please leave a comment. :) Thanks again!
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