where im hidden

January 27, 2010
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I wish I could tell you I loved you, but I can’t.
She can love you; he can love you secretly,
And even I can love you. But if you never knew, wouldn’t you still be happy.
Everything would continue on.
An unending cycle that you’ve always like.
No cares or worries,
Only pie and cherries.
But for you maybe that would be wrong.
Should I say instead, only friend’s and sports.
People listen to what you say, never catching the whispered comments when you complain.
I know what you say.
You are a wasp, always sting, never weeping.
I weep for you.
I laugh for you.
I feel for you.
Have you ever thought of that?
Have you ever considered me as a fact?
You fail to see me in the light, you only see the dark.
I wonder if I prefer that more.
Do I want you to see me?
I think I do.
You hide me in your closet, you isolate me from all.
You protect me from prying eyes, but maybe if you let me go I could thrive in the publics glow.
Or maybe I could die there too.
But maybe that’s what I’ve always wanted.
A quick and painless death.
The darkness would sooth me, or maybe consume me.
Either way id rather take my chances on the outside.
I scream and yell.
Howl and kick.
But you are stone and deaf.
You hear but don’t listen.
I wish I could make you unwrap your arms.
I am but a doll to you.
Pick me up throw me down.
But these things hurt me.
More then they hurt you.
I cannot love you.
For if I did, I would suffer a pain worse then you have ever know.
I suffer now in the dark, but nothing compared to that.
You fill my brain with senseless thoughts that never fade away.
So what if you knew?
It would screw up your cycle now wouldn’t it?
We wouldn’t want that now would we?
You wouldn’t love me now would you?
Well then I guess I could say that I loved you.

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