None of this is real. I guess im just fake. My life, my love, my freedom and all my happiness. And i know im saying this for you. None of this is for me. I never do anything for me. I can say that i care but i dont. I can smile and say im happy but im not. You can say you trust me. But you dont. You can tell me you love me and your proud but you dont and your not. As beats faster and im about to explode I realize theres no point. So im silenced from now on. Theres just no point to speak. No point to give you a chance. NO POINT to live this life of sorrow and tragedy and worthless words that apparently i always use. No point to get my hopes up when im always let down. No point to try to impress you because wheather you admit it or not im not enough. And no point in chasing a dream that you never fail to doubt. I will never reach. No point in changing who i am when at the end of the day its just me. And i cant run away. I cant throw myself away where i truly belong. Im gone. And the girl that took my place is even more worthless. Shes gone and cant come back. you take and take and take and im so empty that i have nothing for you. Maybe youll never figure me out because i cant even figure myself out. You said you want the best and you want me to be happy. If you want mt happiness why do you make me so sad? In the unique time that i smile and mean it, you manage to take that away. Take away my happiness, hope, love, my everything. I cant make another sound. I just might burst. I cant fake who i am anymore. It hurts too much. But from the way youve treated me, the way ive been thrown around by anyone i care about, i guess i can take it.
January 24, 2010