Drunk Driving

January 30, 2010
By Toni-Ann GOLD, London, Other
Toni-Ann GOLD, London, Other
12 articles 0 photos 6 comments

Favorite Quote:
Live life to the fullest


My vision is blurred.
My words are slurred.
M heart has stop beating.
The world has stop moving.
This can't be happening.

I hold her in my arms
Her body is mangled and crumpled in my hands.
It happened so fast.
A little girl just skipping by...
Why didn't she run?

" I am sorry." I mumble through tears.
" Please forgive me."
"It was one moment if I could take it back I would. - I am sorry."
I look at her. She was so young. Her eyes had such a viberant blue to them. Her hair blonde, with treaks of red runing through them.I wonder what she could of become if it wasn't for me. If I had just said no to that one drink. If I had just not of gotten behind the wheel.


The author's comments:
Tell me what you think. Anything I can to improve it ?

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This article has 20 comments.


on Feb. 14 2010 at 1:22 am
FadetoFluorescent SILVER, Cincinnati, Ohio
9 articles 0 photos 13 comments
This is great work.

One thing you might want to do is break up the last bit via the enter key to make it match the flow of the rest of the poem.

Keep it up c:

on Feb. 13 2010 at 8:01 pm
alayapoetgirl BRONZE, St. Louis, Missouri
4 articles 0 photos 92 comments

Favorite Quote:
Life is hard; but it's harder if you're stupid. -John Wayne

This is a great poem to remind people not to drink and drive, and it truly sends a powerful message of guilt from a drunk driver's point of view. It's almost as if they a REALLY speaking to me. I adore this poem, and think it was a great choice of topic to write on. If you get the time, check out my opinion essay on animal rights/vegetarianism

on Feb. 11 2010 at 11:05 am
SilverDancer2991 SILVER, Seattle, Washington
8 articles 0 photos 6 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Burn me once shame on you, burn me twice shame on me, burn me thrice, I'm a f***ing idiot"
"Beneath the skin man is all the same, and I for one would be willing to skin every man to prove it"

This is so powerful. It touches my heart in a way that hurts, but its a hurt that reminds me not to drink and drive. This is beautiful... I think my favorite line is "why didn't she run".

on Feb. 11 2010 at 7:26 am
katielynn21 DIAMOND, Sierra Vista, Arizona
63 articles 0 photos 32 comments

Favorite Quote:
live as if you'll die tomorrow, dream as if you'll live forever

This poem is sad but i really enjoyed it, you captured my attention. I like your style of writing. keep at it :)

maybe you can tell me what you think about some of my poems, sometime?

on Feb. 10 2010 at 5:24 pm
ShernayB. DIAMOND, Southfield, Michigan
62 articles 1 photo 881 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Some things will never change"---Tupac

This is very sad...

But its also very good.

This could be an inspiration to a lot of drunk drivers.

Keep writing

justsamm. GOLD said...
on Feb. 10 2010 at 1:41 pm
justsamm. GOLD, Haverhill, Massachusetts
11 articles 0 photos 14 comments

Favorite Quote:
hide my face;
from my tears.
my weakest link
controls my fears.

nothing needed to improve it;

this was amazing =]

on Feb. 10 2010 at 1:18 pm
kennedy_nicole BRONZE, Hancock, Maine
4 articles 0 photos 11 comments

Favorite Quote:
uhm....no? and awhhh.

this is very good..i felt like crying. i think this is amazing(: good job:P

Toni-Ann GOLD said...
on Feb. 9 2010 at 4:23 pm
Toni-Ann GOLD, London, Other
12 articles 0 photos 6 comments

Favorite Quote:
Live life to the fullest

Thankss && I will :)

Toni-Ann GOLD said...
on Feb. 9 2010 at 4:11 pm
Toni-Ann GOLD, London, Other
12 articles 0 photos 6 comments

Favorite Quote:
Live life to the fullest

I bett yours are better. I am not that good, just startedd, but I'll get better with time. OMGG, I know I hatee it I've posted like 15 things and so far only one has been approved.

on Feb. 9 2010 at 2:30 pm
CaptainFabulous. GOLD, Union, Missouri
11 articles 0 photos 70 comments

Favorite Quote:
PERSONAL FAVORITE QUOTE::::

"When life hands you lemons,make BEEF STEW!"
-Andy Milanokis?(sp)

really good so true

like others said there are a few grammer and spelling probs but overrall great message

read mine and give feedback plzzz??

:D

on Feb. 9 2010 at 12:01 pm
muddygirl117389 SILVER, Smithvillq, Texas
5 articles 0 photos 10 comments

Favorite Quote:
All you need is love By: The Beatles

OH OKAY :) I would of cried if it were but once again I loved it (: I with mine were as good as yours....mire havent been posted yet and I dont know. It makes me angry!

Toni-Ann GOLD said...
on Feb. 8 2010 at 5:02 pm
Toni-Ann GOLD, London, Other
12 articles 0 photos 6 comments

Favorite Quote:
Live life to the fullest

Ahhaa , no it's not a true story. One of those commercials about drunk driving came on and this popped into my mind.

on Feb. 8 2010 at 12:20 pm
muddygirl117389 SILVER, Smithvillq, Texas
5 articles 0 photos 10 comments

Favorite Quote:
All you need is love By: The Beatles

This is amazing! It made me want to cry :( Is this a true story did this really happen to you? If so I am terribly sorry.... But this really was amazing one of the best I have read I think

on Feb. 7 2010 at 4:54 pm
Dandelion PLATINUM, Franklin, Massachusetts
20 articles 8 photos 173 comments
This is a very good poem at the bass. You should probably just read over it and fix some of the grammatical and spelling mistakes. Also, when you say, "... what she could of been," it should be, "... what she could have been." Besides these few minor errors, the it was an excellent poem with great emotion.

Toni-Ann GOLD said...
on Feb. 7 2010 at 4:20 pm
Toni-Ann GOLD, London, Other
12 articles 0 photos 6 comments

Favorite Quote:
Live life to the fullest

Thankss :) , I thinkk I mayy re-write. && Use some of the things you suggested.

on Feb. 7 2010 at 1:44 pm
kellygurl365 SILVER, Cave Junction, Oregon
6 articles 0 photos 21 comments
i loved it i would length it and put a lil emotion in it

on Feb. 7 2010 at 12:43 pm
Tamara*Monta BRONZE, Warren, Texas
4 articles 0 photos 19 comments

Favorite Quote:
never regret sompthing that once made u smile

this is a verry great poem.... keep up the good workkk... if you would go read my poems and give feed back that would be great

on Feb. 7 2010 at 12:29 pm
StandardToaster PLATINUM, Pasadena, California
20 articles 0 photos 210 comments

Favorite Quote:
I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy ever minute of it."

wow great poem! check out my work? http ://www.teenink .com /poetry/all/article/168414/Heart-on-Fire/

on Feb. 7 2010 at 11:10 am
ElleRose SILVER, -, Other
5 articles 0 photos 3 comments
this is very candid, i like the usage of dialogue. maybe clean up a few technical errors and break up the last paragraph to give it more flow.

other than that, nice job :)

Yasmin BRONZE said...
on Feb. 7 2010 at 10:31 am
Yasmin BRONZE, Chelsea, Massachusetts
2 articles 0 photos 1 comment
Wow , im really impressed dude :DD

this is greatt , And i really feel youu .

.____.


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