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conflicted

little green bubble next to your name, perpetually on the gray bar at the bottom on the page
(i couldn't bring myself to hit "x")
i want to talk to you so badly
(at the same time, the thought of talking to you makes me want to push you down the stairs)
the very sight of your name makes my heart beat quickly.
(nerves more than passion. but mostly anger.)
i miss you. a lot.
(but its not really YOU that i miss. its who you used to be. and believe me, you've changed.)
i hate you. i hate you. i should hate you. i need to hate you.
(but who am i kidding. i'll never be able to.)





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