Breaking Point.

January 21, 2010
Nothing really comes across as strange to me, and I do mean nothing.
I laugh and smile at people who I couldn't care less about out of convience and ediquitte.
My hostility doesn't show very often, but I'm trying to be more honest. So sorry if I come off as cynical.
I somehow always end up complicating things.
What I'm trying to get across never comes out right, so people look at me condescendingly and think I'm an idiot, which is really very far from true.
No one really knows me, only certain parts of me I choose to show.
My biggest pet peeve is when people do think they know me completely and try to tell me who I am, or who they think I am, at least.
I wish I could be completely honest with people, but I guess I'm not a strong enough person for that as putting up guards is a defense of the weak.
I'm never satisfied for an extended period of time.
I like the way I am better when I'm happy.
I don't know whyy I'm not happy.
I suppose, by the basic standards of society, I'm a bit too personal with people... just the way I am. When something needs to come out, well, there you go.
Yet I rely on myself for most everything non-material, and materilistically when I'm able to.
I haven't been in a very good mood for a while.
I thought it was getting better.
It's not..

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