January 21, 2010
Your smile took me by surprise
Have you forgotten?
You had been loved by another
Who left with a flash of lightning.

He left you for her
Leaving you bruised and hollow.
Your empty shell remains untouched
Not moving, not caring, not loving.

Sometimes you worry
Is he all right?
But this thought leaves quickly
As though swept away by the wind.

But now that he's gone
You notice things unknown before.
Stolen glances, whispered good-byes
And small meanings unknown to me.

So, now, after all this,
How can you smile?
You had been loved.
So who was the lightning that tore you apart?

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This article has 5 comments. Post your own now!

HiddenWillow said...
Apr. 6, 2010 at 6:05 pm

Very nice.  I like your use of descriptive words to portray the feeling of being left by a loved one.  I also like the organized structure of your poem into stanzas.  That keeps it focused and helps the reader follow the poem's idea. 

A few things at the end...  Before the line "and small meanings unknown to me" I think a hyphen at the end of the previous line would add emphasis to the unknown little things that usually end a relationship.&n... (more »)

***Rain*** replied...
Apr. 6, 2010 at 7:02 pm
Thank you so much for commenting. It means a lot to me.
Roserietta said...
Apr. 3, 2010 at 9:07 pm
Alot like the poem I wrote for my friend. I like this piece.
***Rain*** replied...
Apr. 3, 2010 at 10:02 pm
Thank you!
**talia** This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Feb. 1, 2010 at 6:11 pm
You know more than you'd think.
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