this is not about what you think, trust me

January 21, 2010
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i wanted to send you back
through the looking glass.
maybe you would
come out different.

you were just a phase,
one that is always
in the pathology of
people like me.

but i wish you weren't

i always had a feeling
you wouldn't be around,
for me or anyone else,
but i hoped i was wrong

i bet even you
knew it too

but we kept it hidden,
and only with the long
pauses in conversation
did we realize it again
but it only made us
want to continue talking,
the fact that we
wouldn't anymore
kept us going

so here we are,
well,
here you are.
meeting each other again
for probably not
the last time.
and once again
i am standing
in front of a mirror
wondering "what if?"

and i wish i wasn't





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