What Does a Mafia Boss Eat for Breakfast? This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

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As I skip breakfast,
Like I always do
I wonder to myself,
What does a mafia boss eat for breakfast?
A huge plate of cannoli?
Or maybe some cold spaghetti left over
From the “family” meeting last night.

Or is bossman on a diet?

Wife's orders.
No more fats. No butter.
Just a nice steaming bowl of oatmeal.
Or perhaps it's dinner for breakfast.
A nice plate of chicken parmesan
And some angel hair pasta.
He'll rest his gun on the table
As he sips his red wine.

But what do I know about
What a mafia boss eats for breakfast?
I grew up with green eggs and ham
From Egg Harbor every Sunday
And Oberweis chocolate milk.
I wouldn't know what someone from
The Sopranos would eat for breakfast
Because I grew up watching Barney
And the Teletubbies
Who sang with me every morning.
I grew up in a nice suburban
Primarily white town.
What do I know about what the mafia
Would and wouldn't eat for breakfast?

So please don't lecture me about how
Important
The first meal of the day is.
I've heard it a thousand times. I know.
I know.
But I don't have time to cook up any
Homemade pizza and garlic bread
And I'm certainly not hungry for it.
Besides, my mom would never allow
A gun at the table.
So shoot me.

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.






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Imaginedangerous This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Feb. 24, 2013 at 7:01 pm
Wow. I love the humor here- and how it asks questions that I've never even considered. I love finding sutff that makes me think of something new, no matter how bizarre that thought is. :) Great work.
 
Clementine said...
Jun. 2, 2010 at 9:39 am
That. Was. Amazing. Simple as that. I love your humorous touch. I was actually thinking about what a mafia boss would eat for breakfast after reading this. Absolutely amazing.
 
abbykadabbra This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jun. 2, 2010 at 10:09 am
Thanks so much! That's so sweet.
 
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