What Does a Mafia Boss Eat for Breakfast? MAG

January 21, 2010
By abbykadabbra BRONZE, Arlington Heights, Illinois
abbykadabbra BRONZE, Arlington Heights, Illinois
3 articles 0 photos 2 comments

As I skip breakfast,
Like I always do
I wonder to myself,
What does a mafia boss eat for breakfast?
A huge plate of cannoli?
Or maybe some cold spaghetti left over
From the “family” meeting last night.

Or is bossman on a diet?

Wife's orders.
No more fats. No butter.
Just a nice steaming bowl of oatmeal.
Or perhaps it's dinner for breakfast.
A nice plate of chicken parmesan
And some angel hair pasta.
He'll rest his gun on the table
As he sips his red wine.

But what do I know about
What a mafia boss eats for breakfast?
I grew up with green eggs and ham
From Egg Harbor every Sunday
And Oberweis chocolate milk.
I wouldn't know what someone from
The Sopranos would eat for breakfast
Because I grew up watching Barney
And the Teletubbies
Who sang with me every morning.
I grew up in a nice suburban
Primarily white town.
What do I know about what the mafia
Would and wouldn't eat for breakfast?

So please don't lecture me about how
The first meal of the day is.
I've heard it a thousand times. I know.
I know.
But I don't have time to cook up any
Homemade pizza and garlic bread
And I'm certainly not hungry for it.
Besides, my mom would never allow
A gun at the table.
So shoot me.

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This article has 3 comments.

on Feb. 24 2013 at 7:01 pm
Imaginedangerous PLATINUM, Riverton, Utah
31 articles 0 photos 404 comments
Wow. I love the humor here- and how it asks questions that I've never even considered. I love finding sutff that makes me think of something new, no matter how bizarre that thought is. :) Great work.

on Jun. 2 2010 at 10:09 am
abbykadabbra BRONZE, Arlington Heights, Illinois
3 articles 0 photos 2 comments
Thanks so much! That's so sweet.

on Jun. 2 2010 at 9:39 am
Clementine SILVER, Gustavus, Alaska
5 articles 2 photos 47 comments
That. Was. Amazing. Simple as that. I love your humorous touch. I was actually thinking about what a mafia boss would eat for breakfast after reading this. Absolutely amazing.


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