Clouds seem more like prison bars from this angle

January 21, 2010
You smile just a little too much
But you barely smile at all, because all I see is a smirk.
You stare a little too hard
And your eyes burn the side of my face a little too hot.
You told me what pain was without me ever asking
And I would have requested that I get over it
But you made the pain everlasting.

A tragedy it is.
Tragic that my soul is spread across the hardwood floor
Like an unfinished puzzle
And that my confidence is a little shy now,
My confidence wants to cry now.
My confidence used to kill other people’s confidence
My confidence wants to die now.

I swear I hate you like nothing I’ve ever hated before.
Like fire to my palm, I can feel the pain shoot through my arm,
Down through my chest,
Up to my neck,
My veins have never pulsated so violently,
I know I have to stop looking at your picture.
I know I have to hide the necklace you gave me so long ago
When our love for each other used to jump from my eyes to yours.
When we used to have to chain ourselves to separate walls
To keep from leaping into each other’s soul,
If I could feel your fingertips on the top of my body right now,
I think I’d melt into myself and just smile.

Your hair was so brown and beautiful when we met.
Lovely aroma to compliment your smile,
You made me worship the smell of mango perfume.
I just want to lay in your presence,
Hug your stare,
I want to kiss the deep breath you take when you lay on my chest,
Right now, I just want to disappear.
If you’re not here and I’m not here either,
Maybe I could get lucky and end up where you are.

I promise I won’t stay too long
Long enough to steal a kiss and bottle it to make it last.
I promise I won’t stay too long,
I’ll leave right after you smile one last time.
I promise I won’t stay too long.

I know you don’t want me there
And right now I hate you for it,
But one day it’s going to happen…
And I’ll die too,
And we’ll meet again in due time.

Just make sure you smell of fresh mangos.

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