Nanny,
Its almost Christmas. You are not here to make your famous pies. I can close my eyes and taste them. Picturing them almost makes my mouth water. I've been thinking about you a lot Nanny. You have been coming into my dreams and every single time you tell me you love me and I try and say it back you disappear. I cried last night, it's been seven years and I still can't get over the fact that you are gone. I graduate in two months and you always said you wanted me to show myself to the world and become something you weren't. Here I am I'm showing you and you aren't here. Nanny, why did you give up? You had me and mom and dad and everyone else and we loved you. What more did you need? I turn eighteen in two more months Nanny, I'm also engaged. You would like him, he treats me nice. He's better than the last *** that abused me. You weren't there to protect me like you always said you would. I had to save myself. I look up to you still Nanny and even though the day before you died me and you had a fight and I told you I hated you I never meant it! I was ten! I love you Nanny! I'm sorry for every mean thing I said to you and every hurtful thing I ever did to you! I didn't realize it til I found out you were gone forever and your body laying there so cold and lonely. I hope you forgive me Nanny. I had to get this out because for seven god damn years i've been holding it in and my heart is ready to explode and as I'm writing this my laptop is filling with tears and every time I cry over you my fiance thinks I'm crazy why did you die? Why! God didn't want you yet! Why did you do this to me?! I'm not ready to let go, I wont let go! I love you!

Love Always,
You're Grand Daughter, Jodi