break the silence of music without love

January 11, 2010
can you hear the music?
The sound is behind the wall and as I listen my mind goes blank and I get butterflies in my stomach, and shivers up and down my body.
I want you to hear it too, you who are like me, in whatever way it may be.
I need to give you what I want, so you can help me listen to it without my face against the wall listening all alone, and so I can help the other.
I come here whenever I'm about to die, whenever I lay down, and I feel like I am a 'suicide' just by being alive in this torture. Tears start flooding out my eyes, as the beauty of it fills my body. I feel like my body is faded colors, but when I have the music going through me, I feel like my eyes get blue, my lips aren't dead, and my heart is dancing like it never has before. It is beautiful.
The world needs to know that there is music behind this wall. Though I see no one, and it seems like no one else is listening, until I get the nerve to close my eyes into the darkness, and as I listen and wait, waiting to see what happens, I see someone who cares coming out of the darkness, no not coming out, coming from behind. Someone who’s listening, and just waiting to fill my mind with beautiful songs.
I open my eyes, I need you to stop and wait for the sound of screams to pass away and listen to the music that goes through my mind while my ear is against the wall, so you can help me changel. Because when I leave the wall, only a whisper of song is left, then it leaves me, and I'm feeling all alone, but have a sense that someone and their song is near.
I'll break the wall, with all my strength, and get to the otherside.
I’ll break the death of life without music, I’ll break the death of all my screams.
I will. break free.

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